Hello beloved readers!
So, I think I have alluded already to Robert's ... okay I have deleted five attempts to characterize the situation in some pithy manner. At the recommendation of his preschool teachers, we have had him evaluated by the school district for various things. He has qualified for extra support under "developmental delay" in adaptive - self care like potty use, brushing teeth - and social. We are also in the process of beginning to evaluate him for Autism spectrum disorder, emotional disturbance (anxiety), and "other health" (ADD/ADHD), all due to results from this initial screening. (Before anyone freaks out, I am NOT going to let anyone medicate my four year old for being a space cadet. If it looks necessary when he's 14 we'll talk.)
Robert is crazy smart. I'm not bragging - although I value intelligence I don't think it's the only positive quality in a child and I don't even consider it the most important one. But the kid is 4 and a half and just tested as reading at the first grade level, he can do some addition and subtraction, and he made an analogy before he was 2. He walks on his tiptoes almost all the time, goes up and down stairs same foot first always, he's very sensitive to sound and certain types of touch and food textures, he freaks out when routines change or at transitions unless he gets a bunch of warnings.
So the kid probably has Aspergers. Plus anxiety, possibly OCD (my gene, sorry kid) and possibly ADD (that's Dad's gift, so I'm off the hook). He's introverted, which is NOT a disorder despite what society might think, but in addition to his other sensitivities it makes preschool a challenge. All of this has added up to some disturbing behavior, weird violent statements you wouldn't expect out of a four year old, or at least that I didn't. And of course then his grandpa up and died in April. Oops. That probably didn't help.
This evening I was singing the requested bedtime song, realized I had forgotten a verse, and went off to get my song book. I came back in singing the song, and Robert insisted that I get back in bed next to him, resume petting his back, and start the song over from the beginning. "My goodness, you're so particular!" I teased. "Yeah, that's just the way I am," he replied, smiling. This of course totally cracked me up.
After seeing X-Men - I think the second one? I dunno, but the one with the guy with the wings. I had a typical Mama Suzi reaction. Not a major plot point spoiler, so I'll share the bit that's relevant - you see a sort of flash back to when the kid was a 'tween and started growing wings. He was alone in the bathroom trying to get them to stop, with a bunch of sharp kitchen tools, including a zester which I have. (I almost threw away the zester when I got home.) His mom walks in on him and you see the shapes above his shoulder blades where his wings are developing. I think the movie character mom just gasps. Countless times after seeing that movie I imagined myself in that mom's place, gathering the little boy in my arms, insisting that no matter what grew out of his shoulders he did NOT deserve to be zested, that he was my little boy and I loved him and we would figure this out together. I imagined me putting neosporin on his skin and tucking him into bed. I figured out how I would have shirts and suits tailored to accommodate his wings, rather than letting him bind them as the character does in the movie in an attempt to hide his "mutation." I figured if he itched when he molted I'd go find a bird vet to ask what to put on him, on the down low of course. And then because my imagination is faster than the speed of lint, I would picture taking him to Charles Xavier's school, but not wanting to leave, so I'd be like the dorm mom, cooking for all the kids and cuddling them and telling them that no matter how their parents reacted to their special gifts, they were wonderful and deserved to be loved.
Yes I am a huge geek. Geek is sexy. I'm down with it. (For fun some time ask me about the Harry Potter movies.) I never really thought any of this would come true. But it has. Robert has wings. He is amazingly bright and creative and thoughtful and sensitive and charming. And these gifts have a cost. We need to find ways for him to learn navigate an overstimulating world without being overwhelmed. We need to prepare him to deal with bullies and prejudice. (Aikido class starts next Saturday.) And we have to be extra careful to show him how much we value our own special gifts, and understand their costs.
My baby has wings.
Much love,
Suzi
