Hello Dear Boobjuicers and Friends!
I'm composing an email to a family member who thinks I'm crazy for letting Kiddo choose when to wean (I'd be upset but it's such a prevalent attitude that it would be a waste of energy) and it occurred to me to share some of these websites with my beloved boobjuicer friends.
Here's Dr. Jack Newman's website. If you only use one breastfeeding resource, use him. That said, I didn't find his latching instructions particularly helpful from afar - latching is really something best taught in person, so if you are having latching challenges there really is no substitute for a visit with a lactation consultant or at least another boobjuicing mom. But, he's got really helpful articles on pretty much anything else you could want to know about breastfeeding, including thrush (yes, I really will write that entry one day - it's just not a fun topic, you can see where I would be more excited about some of these other topics). Dr. Newman's website is facing funding challenges, so if you find him helpful, I would encourage you to follow the website's instructions to donate some money. I gave the same amount that my lactation consultant charges for a half-hour phone consult - except it's Canadian dollars, so I'm curious to see how many greenbacks 50 Loonies cost on that day. If he were actually charging me by the hour I've spent on his website, I'd owe him a lot more.
Here's a list of state laws regarding breastfeeding. We West Coasters have it good, although notice Louisiana's laws regarding child care centers. Interesting!
Here's the World Health Organization's website about breastfeeding. Mostly they are focused on developing and economically challenged countries, but they have information about the health benefits of breastfeeding too. They are another worthy organization if you are motivated to reach out with your wallets to your fellow boobjuicing mamas across the globe. Their babies need food. What mama doesn't have a visceral, emotional reaction to a baby needing food? Which actress was it a year or two ago who got into the tabloids for breastfeeding a stranger's baby while touring in Africa? I completely understand that impulse. Of course if I did it the poor thing would get thrush. And I don't really know the circumstances of the situation - was the mama gone? Did the mama ask her to do it? Did she just pick up some random wailing infant and whip out the girls? I don't know, I just know that reading the story, I felt an overwhelming urge to nurse my kiddo. But I digress.
Here's a great, somewhat hippie granola flavored website on breastfeeding and other parenting topics, Kellymom.
Notice I have not cited La Leche League. We owe a debt of gratitude to LLL for their lactivism in this country, but I and many other moms find their tone a little hard to take. Perhaps they have changed since they made my mom feel guilty, I don't know. I do know that The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding made me want to slap someone, and was not as informative as The Nursing Mother's Companion.
If you have a low tolerance for hippie granola-ness, you should stick to the medical websites (Dr. Newman, American Academy of Pediatrics) and the NGOs (WHO, UNICEF). I would encourage you to try to turn on your granola filter, though, and try some of these other websites. We are, as a country, still recovering from the formula companies' success in convincing women that we are inadequate to feed our children and that big multinational manufacturing companies with (mostly male) scientists in white coats can do better than God and Mother Nature. So the most open, unapologetic breastfeeding resources are still a bit on the fringe at this point. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was fringe once, too, as were the suffragettes. Think of yourself as cutting edge cool and keep nursing!!!
Much love!
Suzi
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
The Ugly Truth
Hello Dear Boobjuicers and Friends! I write from relaxing Portland, land of tea, dogs, and cozy cloudiness. More on that in an upcoming post.
So, my friend and fellow boobjuicer Mama A.K. ran up against the ugly truth recently as she resumed her paying job as an academic, a 45 minute drive from her home and baby. No one tells moms this, because (I suspect) we are so eager to make sure that mothers breastfeed as much and as long as they can, that we don't want to say anything to discourage them. While well intended, I think this is (a) patronizing, and (b) counter-productive. This leads to moms starting to pump at work and getting smacked in the face by the ugly truth, instead of knowing in advance what to expect. These same breastfeeding advocates would not, I hazard a guess, try to "spare" you the ugly truth about birth and send you in to Labor and Delivery not knowing that you would be pooping on the table. When we have good information in advance, we can better prepare ourselves. So I am going to tell you the ugly truth.
Pumping at work is a pain in the ass.
You will not like it. At best, you won't mind it, and maybe even will appreciate a chance to close your door or lock yourself in your lactation room away from your co-workers a few times a day. At worst you will find it inconvenient, uncomfortable, and frustrating.
It's worth it. Do it anyway.
There. Was that so bad? I mean, you *knew* that in your gut, and somehow you had this nagging feeling that the breastpump manufacturers, your lactation consultant, and that La Leche League lady you met at the grocery store were hiding something, casting their eyes to one side and using flowery language to not quite lie to you. Well, I shall not do you this disservice.
When I started pumping at work, I became convinced that I must be doing something wrong. It was really hard to get my work done when, by the time I had chased off my co-workers and managed to start concentrating on something, it was time to go wash my hands and strap Bessie on again. I wasn't getting nearly as much milk as I thought I was supposed to (I have since learned some tricks - see earlier post). I was constantly worried about Kiddo running out of milk at home, and in my anxious state, didn't see that (as hubby brilliantly pointed out when I was complaining about this later) at worst we are 45 minutes apart and he could always bring Kiddo to me if I couldn't leave work. And pumping is not snuggly like breastfeeding. You can kind of get that bliss moment after let down by looking at pictures of your kiddo, but no cute nursey noises and no baby in your arms or on your lap.
It doesn't matter if you are going to your other job 15 hours a week or 50, it's going to take some getting used to. There are a lot of things you can do to ease the transition, like starting back to work part-time at first, asking to telecommute to keep the baby near the boobies (did I mention I finally got back my telecommute Wednesdays? SOOOooo helpful), and, if you live near your work, going home to nurse at lunch time. Remember that it's not forever, and as your kiddo starts getting more and more nutrition from solid food, it will get easier to keep up with kiddo in supplying the good stuff for while you are off earning a buck. In fact, as my kiddo started nursing less (down from 7 times a day to maybe 5 when I'm with him all day at this point) I actually felt really sad for a while, somewhat to my surprise.
It will get easier!!!
The really hard part for me was from resuming work (Kiddo was about 3.5 months) through about 9 or 10 months, with some times easier than others. One thing I learned was that, for us at least, commuting was just NOT worth it when trying to breastfeed a little guy, and we decided to move work and home much, much closer together. Another trick I may employ soon is to have two pumps, one for work and one for home, so that you don't have to cart the thing back and forth. This is expensive of course, but if I take, what, $300, and divide it by, say, a year of being away from kiddo four times a week, with two weeks off, so that's 200 commutes, that's a buck fifty a day to not have to cart my breastpump around. Seems reasonable to me. But I haven't bought a second one yet so I can stand as proof that it *can* be done.
Meanwhile, you get to complain all you want. It's hard. It can be quite stressful. And you are earning your battle scars. The folks at work may not understand. But we boobjuicers will. You can complain to us all you want. Just keep pumping and nursing. It really, really is worth it. You will be so proud of yourself when you get through this difficult period and can look back at what you accomplished. At those sessions where you sit there with a vacuum on the girls for twenty minutes and get like half an ounce, remember that you are protecting your milk supply and that is very important, even if you don't get a lot of milk every time.
It's worth it. Keep pumping.
Much love to you all!
So, my friend and fellow boobjuicer Mama A.K. ran up against the ugly truth recently as she resumed her paying job as an academic, a 45 minute drive from her home and baby. No one tells moms this, because (I suspect) we are so eager to make sure that mothers breastfeed as much and as long as they can, that we don't want to say anything to discourage them. While well intended, I think this is (a) patronizing, and (b) counter-productive. This leads to moms starting to pump at work and getting smacked in the face by the ugly truth, instead of knowing in advance what to expect. These same breastfeeding advocates would not, I hazard a guess, try to "spare" you the ugly truth about birth and send you in to Labor and Delivery not knowing that you would be pooping on the table. When we have good information in advance, we can better prepare ourselves. So I am going to tell you the ugly truth.
Pumping at work is a pain in the ass.
You will not like it. At best, you won't mind it, and maybe even will appreciate a chance to close your door or lock yourself in your lactation room away from your co-workers a few times a day. At worst you will find it inconvenient, uncomfortable, and frustrating.
It's worth it. Do it anyway.
There. Was that so bad? I mean, you *knew* that in your gut, and somehow you had this nagging feeling that the breastpump manufacturers, your lactation consultant, and that La Leche League lady you met at the grocery store were hiding something, casting their eyes to one side and using flowery language to not quite lie to you. Well, I shall not do you this disservice.
When I started pumping at work, I became convinced that I must be doing something wrong. It was really hard to get my work done when, by the time I had chased off my co-workers and managed to start concentrating on something, it was time to go wash my hands and strap Bessie on again. I wasn't getting nearly as much milk as I thought I was supposed to (I have since learned some tricks - see earlier post). I was constantly worried about Kiddo running out of milk at home, and in my anxious state, didn't see that (as hubby brilliantly pointed out when I was complaining about this later) at worst we are 45 minutes apart and he could always bring Kiddo to me if I couldn't leave work. And pumping is not snuggly like breastfeeding. You can kind of get that bliss moment after let down by looking at pictures of your kiddo, but no cute nursey noises and no baby in your arms or on your lap.
It doesn't matter if you are going to your other job 15 hours a week or 50, it's going to take some getting used to. There are a lot of things you can do to ease the transition, like starting back to work part-time at first, asking to telecommute to keep the baby near the boobies (did I mention I finally got back my telecommute Wednesdays? SOOOooo helpful), and, if you live near your work, going home to nurse at lunch time. Remember that it's not forever, and as your kiddo starts getting more and more nutrition from solid food, it will get easier to keep up with kiddo in supplying the good stuff for while you are off earning a buck. In fact, as my kiddo started nursing less (down from 7 times a day to maybe 5 when I'm with him all day at this point) I actually felt really sad for a while, somewhat to my surprise.
It will get easier!!!
The really hard part for me was from resuming work (Kiddo was about 3.5 months) through about 9 or 10 months, with some times easier than others. One thing I learned was that, for us at least, commuting was just NOT worth it when trying to breastfeed a little guy, and we decided to move work and home much, much closer together. Another trick I may employ soon is to have two pumps, one for work and one for home, so that you don't have to cart the thing back and forth. This is expensive of course, but if I take, what, $300, and divide it by, say, a year of being away from kiddo four times a week, with two weeks off, so that's 200 commutes, that's a buck fifty a day to not have to cart my breastpump around. Seems reasonable to me. But I haven't bought a second one yet so I can stand as proof that it *can* be done.
Meanwhile, you get to complain all you want. It's hard. It can be quite stressful. And you are earning your battle scars. The folks at work may not understand. But we boobjuicers will. You can complain to us all you want. Just keep pumping and nursing. It really, really is worth it. You will be so proud of yourself when you get through this difficult period and can look back at what you accomplished. At those sessions where you sit there with a vacuum on the girls for twenty minutes and get like half an ounce, remember that you are protecting your milk supply and that is very important, even if you don't get a lot of milk every time.
It's worth it. Keep pumping.
Much love to you all!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Back in the Saddle Again
Hello Ladies! I hope you all are having a fabulous start to the new year. Something about the change of year reminded me about coming back to work post kiddo, and how jarring it was to try to fit myself back into grownup land, even though I had been looking forward to it. I'll share a reminders list I developed for myself which I still find useful, even to this day. Maybe some of our pumping moms are heading back to the workplace soon and will find it useful. Ladies, send me your additions to the list!
1.) Don't forget to put your shirt back on after pumping.
I just know I'm going to do this one day - lose track of which things I do in what order and open my office door when I'm all boobs-a-go-go. Luckily there's another mom in the office across from mine - hopefully if it happens she'll catch it rather than, say, one of my interns. I'm pretty sure that would be harassment.
2.) Similarly, don't feel the girls to see if they are full when you are walking down the hallway.
I've done this. I don't *think* anyone saw before I realized what I was doing, but I was embarrassed anyway. It can't be that much better than some guy adjusting his genitals while in the lobby.
3.) Don't babytalk the clients.
"Awwww... Did missus smithy get her quarterly performance report? Yes she did! Yes she did! That's a GOOD client!" Yeah, not a good idea.
4.) Don't inflict your newfound enthusiasm for breastfeeding/cloth diapers/perineal massage on the non-parents in the office.
Perhaps you work in a birth clinic - then you would be the exception. But the rest of us are going, at the very least, to be disappointed by the lack of enthusiasm shown by the target of our latest gush on how great these new breast pads are. We don't mean to be That Parent, but we've all done it. Try to find another mom to point it at. At the very least, she probably owes the universe some pay-it-forward from when she was there.
5.) Try to wipe off the layer of baby spooge before you walk in the door.
This is a toughie - which of us has been free of spitup, snot, pee, and mashed bananas for 20 consecutive minutes since giving birth? But along the lines of number three, you don't want to explain "no, it wasn't a bird..." in a big meeting if you can help it. Maybe now is the time to start keeping a spare blouse in the office.
6.) Be gentle with yourself!
This is a big adventure and you will figure it out. And it will be worth it!
1.) Don't forget to put your shirt back on after pumping.
I just know I'm going to do this one day - lose track of which things I do in what order and open my office door when I'm all boobs-a-go-go. Luckily there's another mom in the office across from mine - hopefully if it happens she'll catch it rather than, say, one of my interns. I'm pretty sure that would be harassment.
2.) Similarly, don't feel the girls to see if they are full when you are walking down the hallway.
I've done this. I don't *think* anyone saw before I realized what I was doing, but I was embarrassed anyway. It can't be that much better than some guy adjusting his genitals while in the lobby.
3.) Don't babytalk the clients.
"Awwww... Did missus smithy get her quarterly performance report? Yes she did! Yes she did! That's a GOOD client!" Yeah, not a good idea.
4.) Don't inflict your newfound enthusiasm for breastfeeding/cloth diapers/perineal massage on the non-parents in the office.
Perhaps you work in a birth clinic - then you would be the exception. But the rest of us are going, at the very least, to be disappointed by the lack of enthusiasm shown by the target of our latest gush on how great these new breast pads are. We don't mean to be That Parent, but we've all done it. Try to find another mom to point it at. At the very least, she probably owes the universe some pay-it-forward from when she was there.
5.) Try to wipe off the layer of baby spooge before you walk in the door.
This is a toughie - which of us has been free of spitup, snot, pee, and mashed bananas for 20 consecutive minutes since giving birth? But along the lines of number three, you don't want to explain "no, it wasn't a bird..." in a big meeting if you can help it. Maybe now is the time to start keeping a spare blouse in the office.
6.) Be gentle with yourself!
This is a big adventure and you will figure it out. And it will be worth it!
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