The Ugly Truth

Hello Dear Boobjuicers and Friends! I write from relaxing Portland, land of tea, dogs, and cozy cloudiness. More on that in an upcoming post.

So, my friend and fellow boobjuicer Mama A.K. ran up against the ugly truth recently as she resumed her paying job as an academic, a 45 minute drive from her home and baby. No one tells moms this, because (I suspect) we are so eager to make sure that mothers breastfeed as much and as long as they can, that we don't want to say anything to discourage them. While well intended, I think this is (a) patronizing, and (b) counter-productive. This leads to moms starting to pump at work and getting smacked in the face by the ugly truth, instead of knowing in advance what to expect. These same breastfeeding advocates would not, I hazard a guess, try to "spare" you the ugly truth about birth and send you in to Labor and Delivery not knowing that you would be pooping on the table. When we have good information in advance, we can better prepare ourselves. So I am going to tell you the ugly truth.

Pumping at work is a pain in the ass.

You will not like it. At best, you won't mind it, and maybe even will appreciate a chance to close your door or lock yourself in your lactation room away from your co-workers a few times a day. At worst you will find it inconvenient, uncomfortable, and frustrating.

It's worth it. Do it anyway.

There. Was that so bad? I mean, you *knew* that in your gut, and somehow you had this nagging feeling that the breastpump manufacturers, your lactation consultant, and that La Leche League lady you met at the grocery store were hiding something, casting their eyes to one side and using flowery language to not quite lie to you. Well, I shall not do you this disservice.

When I started pumping at work, I became convinced that I must be doing something wrong. It was really hard to get my work done when, by the time I had chased off my co-workers and managed to start concentrating on something, it was time to go wash my hands and strap Bessie on again. I wasn't getting nearly as much milk as I thought I was supposed to (I have since learned some tricks - see earlier post). I was constantly worried about Kiddo running out of milk at home, and in my anxious state, didn't see that (as hubby brilliantly pointed out when I was complaining about this later) at worst we are 45 minutes apart and he could always bring Kiddo to me if I couldn't leave work. And pumping is not snuggly like breastfeeding. You can kind of get that bliss moment after let down by looking at pictures of your kiddo, but no cute nursey noises and no baby in your arms or on your lap.

It doesn't matter if you are going to your other job 15 hours a week or 50, it's going to take some getting used to. There are a lot of things you can do to ease the transition, like starting back to work part-time at first, asking to telecommute to keep the baby near the boobies (did I mention I finally got back my telecommute Wednesdays? SOOOooo helpful), and, if you live near your work, going home to nurse at lunch time. Remember that it's not forever, and as your kiddo starts getting more and more nutrition from solid food, it will get easier to keep up with kiddo in supplying the good stuff for while you are off earning a buck. In fact, as my kiddo started nursing less (down from 7 times a day to maybe 5 when I'm with him all day at this point) I actually felt really sad for a while, somewhat to my surprise.

It will get easier!!!

The really hard part for me was from resuming work (Kiddo was about 3.5 months) through about 9 or 10 months, with some times easier than others. One thing I learned was that, for us at least, commuting was just NOT worth it when trying to breastfeed a little guy, and we decided to move work and home much, much closer together. Another trick I may employ soon is to have two pumps, one for work and one for home, so that you don't have to cart the thing back and forth. This is expensive of course, but if I take, what, $300, and divide it by, say, a year of being away from kiddo four times a week, with two weeks off, so that's 200 commutes, that's a buck fifty a day to not have to cart my breastpump around. Seems reasonable to me. But I haven't bought a second one yet so I can stand as proof that it *can* be done.

Meanwhile, you get to complain all you want. It's hard. It can be quite stressful. And you are earning your battle scars. The folks at work may not understand. But we boobjuicers will. You can complain to us all you want. Just keep pumping and nursing. It really, really is worth it. You will be so proud of yourself when you get through this difficult period and can look back at what you accomplished. At those sessions where you sit there with a vacuum on the girls for twenty minutes and get like half an ounce, remember that you are protecting your milk supply and that is very important, even if you don't get a lot of milk every time.

It's worth it. Keep pumping.

Much love to you all!