There are lots of tricks left to try. More nursey lunch breaks. More taking Wednesday off, as work permits. I'm already encouraging her to nurse more at night, putting her to the breast at the slightest squirm. And we will start the rice cereal this week. But I keep hearing my head (and my fellow mama coworkers) telling me, what's one can of formula?
What indeed. In my head, it's Chinese rocket fuel and deadly bacteria. But as millions as American babies annually attest, those are the exceptions, not the rules. Like it or not, lots of babies grow up on formula, and very, very few of them are poisoned. But won't it further damage my supply? Maybe. But if she only gets it when I'm not home and there's nothing else in the house, then that wasn't an opportunity to nurse, that was just an opportunity for Matt to get howled at by a hungry baby.
I can't help but feel that this is God's way of letting me know how I may have made a lot of mamas feel with my sanctimonious anti-formula rants. And while I maintain many of my material points, that formula companies employ unethical, woman-undermining marketing tactics, that our society needs to be more breastfeeding supportive, and that people in general need to get over boobs, I see now that sometimes it really is necessary. Whether it will be for us I don't know yet. I'm still hoping to avoid it.
But in the mean time, Mamas, I am well and truly sorry. Karmic bitchslap received, and deserved. I am totally wrought over this impending possible decision point, and I feel awful.
I love all of you and your beautiful babies very much.
Suzi
