Bessie at the Office

Bessie is a Medela Pump-in-Style electric dual breast pump. That's right people - I named my breast pump. After a cow. Not just any cow, mind you, but my colleague's best cow when she was growing up. Okay, fine, I named the breast pump and THEN she told me about the cow. But anyway, I think it is a very fitting name for her. Plus it's just easier at work - "I gotta go see Bessie," or "That Bessie is such a slave driver." Instead of, "I can't, I have to pump now" or "Yes, really, four times during the work day."

It took a lot longer than I thought it would to figure out the whole pumping at work thing. I've gotten pretty efficient at it, and it still takes me a half hour round trip, just over half of which is the actual pumping time. I use a hands-free pumping band, which I hope to review soon on this blog, so I can be on the computer while I'm waiting for Bessie and the girls to work their magic.

I've gotten a feel for what times of day I'm going to need to pump - there is some wiggle room of course but to get all the sessions done with enough time in between to rest there isn't as much flexibility as one might like. So when someone asks in the hall, "can you talk about that at 2?" I can say, "Unless you only need 15 minutes, better make it 3."

The law provides (I think... should check that) that employers must let you pump every three hours, but I find I need to do more like every 2.5 hours. Otherwise I can't get in four, and I go too long on the way home and/or supply decreases. I'm lucky - I have my own office, with a door, and can just sit at my desk to pump, not hide in the file room or oust someone else from their work space. I read (somewhere on some forum I'm no longer on) about a mom in the Air Force (I think - maybe Navy?) who is a pilot. She was pumping in the bathroom on her plane (a feat in itself) to get supply for her baby while she's flying. So if she can do that, I should woman up and do my job in my cushy office and not complain.

A friend told me about an acquaintance who actually pumps on her commute home. That seems sort of brilliant, except for the part where I'm sitting in the car doing all the set up in the parking lot of my workplace. I have gotten pretty good at pumping in the car but I don't love it and it takes enough extra set-up to remain modest (read: not get arrested or gawked at) that I don't actually think it would save me that much time. Plus then of course I'll get stuck in a traffic jam and not be able to take off the pump and shields, and of course I could safely turn off the pump while I'm driving, but something tells me trying to store breastmilk and put my bra back together while barreling down the 210 at 70 mph is just not a sound decision. Perhaps this other mom's commute is just the right length - anyway, my hat is off to her, but it ain't for me. Although to be fair I've pumped in my car three times now and no one has even walked by at an inconvenient moment.

My co-workers recognize the sound Bessie makes over the phone - I think I freaked one of them out with it - I thought he wouldn't be able to hear her, but he said, "what's that sound?" and I said, "I'm sorry, is that too weird? I could call you back..." He graciously finished the conversation but I suspect I was the subject of much sports bar mocking later that week.

So lately I've really been struggling with the whole working while breastfeeding thing. I'm struggling to feel like I'm doing well at work, I'm struggling to have enough breastmilk at home for my baby, and I'm struggling to remember that we really do need the money and I really shouldn't just quit. It would be much more responsible to let my husband get a job first and then quit, or at least go part time for a while to give him a chance to look. Right?