Hello dear boobjuicers and friends! I hope you all had a lovely Thanksgiving. It seems time to do a little updating - I have a tendency to write as therapy when I'm upset and then not write more when I'm feeling better, which may have left readers with the impression that I am wallowing in angst at all times. Not true! So a few follow-up items.
I'm feeling better about the working while breastfeeding question. A few days at home alone with Kiddo reminded me why hubby is better suited for this gig than I am. I also realized that, one way or another, it's going to be a hassle. Breadwinning with a kid is a hassle, not breadwinning with a kid is a hassle. It helps me sometimes to put everything in the context of the pioneer people. What did Laura Ingalls Wilder's mom (Caroline Ingalls) do with her babies? She didn't have a nanny or day care to look after them while she made cheese and did laundry by hand. So gains in efficiency from increased productivity over the decades have improved living standards quite a lot, but the modern day equivalent of strapping the baby to my chest in a deer skin while making cheese is, in my case, Bessie the Breastpump.
Another point that has sort of sunk in a bit better is that I am choosing this hassle, because it is the best and most palatable arrangement for me. I don't want to give up my breadwinning job, even if I thought it were economically feasible, because I'm much, much happier with the contrast of parenting and external employment than I was with the latter before parenting or would be with the former without a day job. I am choosing the breastfeeding because I love it (and of course because it is what is best for Kiddo but let's be honest, I have my selfish reasons too, see previous post). And I chose to live 30 miles from work because it was the best compromise at the time, for reasons of both socializing and compromise between job locations. That last one is the one we've changed our mind on - our lease is up in December, and we hope to move soon after that.
I'm swallowing a lot fewer pills. I gave up on the fenugreek, which was really doing a number on my intestines. Shortly afterwards I had a very reassuring conversation with my lactation consultant, who feels that I do not have a supply problem. I haven't totally given up on the grapefruit seed extract, but I think I will. I think it may have chased off the thrush another 5%, but I've got another round of fluconazole waiting for me at the pharmacy. Eh, I'll keep up with the GSE for now, who knows. I could also go another round of gentian violet... soon I'll actually write this thrush entry. It's not my most fun topic on the "what I could write on my blog" list, as you may well imagine.
Last bit of update - Kiddo and I went to Portland to visit Aunt Cathy and Uncle Erick all by ourselves! And I was remarkably less frazzled by the whole thing than I feared I would be. I added an extra hour to the time I allowed for getting to the airport than I did pre-kid, and of course did not wind up at my gate an extra hour early, but I think the real trick is just having enough time that when hiccups occur they aren't an emergency because we have time to deal with them. I still got pretty anxious when Kiddo was noisy on the plane, which is probably silly. I'm getting better at trying to time his nursing and other food so that he's interested in nursing during the landing when he needs it to help his ears, but even so, he's not interested long enough to get through the whole landing. Ah, well, nothing is perfect.
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