Hello Dear Boobjuicers and Friends!
Okay, I've tried to keep this blog positive and non-judgemental, and I will try again, but right now I'm pissed off and need a good, sarcastic rant.
I've just about had it with rude, ignorant comments about "extended" breastfeeding. Which - news flash- isn't really extended, at 18 months, it's just not cut off quite as early as most moms in this country. And besides which, wouldn't have been made if I hadn't patiently answered several intrusive, judgmental questions from (mostly non-parents, but one pediatrician who also has kids) people who need to go get their own house in order before peering into mine. So here's a quick primer for the ignorant - please feel free to print it out and hand it to those out of the loop (resisting diligently the temptation to make a snarky comment about who will receive said printouts).
1.) "Extended" breastfeeding does not equal mom goes into kindergarden class and whips shirt off.
2.) The average age of weaning globally is way older than 18 months. A quick Google search turned up 4.5 years. Which means that, given how averages work, at least some kids weaned later than that.
3.) This does not mean I'm going to record a youtube video when my kid is seven if I'm still nursing at that point (which given how much travel there is in my job, I won't be. I'm thinking age two, people. Maybe three.)
3.a.) It's pretty easy to not record yourself breastfeeding and put it up on youtube. I've done it every day for eighteen months.
4.) "Extended" breastfeeding is not weird. Feeding corn syrup solids to a baby is weird. Necessary sometimes perhaps, but weird.
5.) "What will his friends think" is not an adequate reason to change my parenting choices. That's a great way to raise a spineless sheep who can't think for himself and does only what is pre-approved by the masses. Ugh, scary.
5.a.) Given items 1 and 3a, how the heck are his friends going to know, anyway? Does some evil faction bent on embarrassing my son have a secret video feed into my kid's bedroom which they're going to replay at his nursery school? I'm thinking no.
5.b.) And besides which, breastfeeding is nothing to be embarrassed about. The shocking waste of a natural, God-given gift for creating health and bonding in infants by the richest country in the world is something to be embarrassed about.
6.) If all that isn't enough for you, maybe grief over your own childhood or parenting choices is what's doing the talking here, rather than a carefully considered opinion. Either way, if you can't handle it, get your damn closed circuit nannycam out of my nursery, get a hobby, and leave me alone.
And last, but not least, I would like to officially apologize for any ignorant comment I ever made about anyone's parenting choices before I had kids of my own. Or since, for that matter. Including formula feeding. I shall redouble my efforts to lead by example, not judgement. And now I shall get ready for work.
Nice Suzi back next time, promise.
Much love,
Suzi
I got your back, Suzi. I nursed (and worked and pumped for) both of mine for an "extended" period that eventually tapered off to nothing.
ReplyDeleteI was so glad to still be nursing at 14 months when my son got sick and the only thing that made him comfortable was nursing (pretty much non-stop for 24 hours - my milk production when through the roof the next day!).
If we had any kind of cultural respect for motherhood, this would so NOT be an issue.
Hey Suzi,
ReplyDeleteLet it all out, girlie! I nursed 13 months and people looked at me weirdly. I went back to work after FMLA and I explained when I went back that there was a schedule of when I would be pumping on all days of the work week. My boss was very supportive and understanding of this. Other co-workers were extremely immature and it caused some H.R. b.s. that caused me to rethink my future at the company. This is a major reason why I am now a stay-at-home mom. Don't get me started on how I get judged for that. LOL
Hey Suzi,
ReplyDeleteI love your blog...so helpful as I will be going back to work soon!
So, I'm the woman who interviewed you a few weeks back at the Big LAtch On. The show will be this Friday at 6:00pm on KBOO 90.7 or www.kboo.fm
Here's a little blurb about it. Feel free to post on your blog. :)
Thanks!
Please join me on Bread and Roses this Friday, August 27th, from 6:00pm - 7:00pm (Pacific), as I host a two part show. The first part will be a piece about the civil action lawsuit that local midwives are filing against Oregon Health and Science University (OHSU) and the Oregon Health Licensing Agency (OHLA) in response to the harassment that they have experienced in regards to attending breech, twin and VBAC births (vaginal births after cesarean sections) . Learn how even in a state like Oregon where homebirth is legal and accessible, midwifery is still under attack.
The second half of the show is a piece about 'The Big Latch On' which was an event that was hosted in 30 venues in Portland. The goal was to set the world record for the most women breastfeeding simultaneously. Many mamas and breastfeeding advocates were interviewed about the rewards and challenges of breastfeeding, as well as what it means to them to feed their babies in a society where the breast is most often viewed as sexual rather than what nature intended.
Bread and Roses/ KBOO Radio
Friday, August 27th
6:00pm - 7:00pm (pacific)
90.7 FM or listen live at http://www.kboo.fm
If you can't catch the show, it will be available for podcast within a week at http://www.kboo.fm/breadandroses
Thank you for this blog. I have been struggling with the rude comments from friends and family about breastfeeding my 16 month old. "He really needs to wean", "he only likes it because you make it available" (huh?) and my favorite "there is no nutrititional value in nursing your child" says the woman who never breast fed. Seriously!! When did it become everyone elses decision besides mine own? There is research that says breastfeeding is benificial at all stage...cant people just back off!!!?
ReplyDelete