Oof.

Hello Dear Readers!

Let's see when we left off, I had just started back to work, yes? WHOOOSH! A month has snuck past me with no blog entry and very little in the way of any non-work, non-kid related anything. I figured my two weeks of part time schedule in the holiday season when no one was paying attention anyway would ease me right back into the whole breadwinning scene without a hitch. It was helpful to be sure, but the return to full time is still jarring, and I was reminded by my hypnotherapist (more on that later) that no, it'll take probably three months to feel well transitioned into the whole work thing. Rather than feeling discouraged, I found this reassuring - I don't have to feel like I should be handling it better yet.

Not that I'm handling it *so* poorly. Just more anxious, more prone to random bouts of cranky (sorry Honey!), and less smooth and self assured than I had in mind. Ah well. This too shall pass. And then something else will come up I'm sure, chuckle.

Meanwhile, pumping four times on work days is as much fun as I remembered, which would be not very. In order to keep up with Jackie and not have Matt digging into the freezer stash, I have to get up before her in the morning and pump for half an hour. Lots of mamas get larger quantities faster than I do, research has shown. (And by research I mean I've talked to a few moms about it.) But that's how long it takes me to get as much as is going to happen at that time. It's worth the time because if Jackie has slept through the night, which she does sometimes, I can get 5-6 ounces at these morning sessions when the girls are super full. Also, it provides a rare opportunity to sit quietly by myself in the living room at my computer accomplishing something. Not that I wouldn't rather sleep for another hour, but it's peaceful, and helpful, and makes up a non-trivial amount for the hassle of getting up an hour before the baby says I have to.

Then in whatever order baby dictates, I nurse, eat, swallow the absurd quantity of supplements I have to take, shower, dress, pack lunch if I haven't the night before, maybe nurse again, and go to work. So far I haven't managed to get there at eight, which would be my preference, but I have made several eight-thirty meetings and calls without major incident. I have one on Friday with an investment team in London, so say "smooth morning" prayers for me.

I pump three times during the work day, unless I get lucky and have the family visit me at lunch time and nurse then. Usually it's approximately 10:30, 1:30, and 4:30. Each time I have the pump running for maybe 20-25 minutes, although I've been known to get distracted on my computer or get greedy about trying to get more milk and let it go for 30. (I don't think that last 5 minutes of 30 gets me anything but I am collecting data on this point and will let you know.) With my big stock of pump parts, cleanup is a breeze, so I can do this routine in 40-45 minutes, round trip. Which makes me wonder about these mamas who get a strict half hour break as required by law and no longer. Hopefully none of them are slow pumpees like me, but I bet some of them are. Presumably the answer to that is to spend one's whole lunch hour strapped to the pump? But if it's a union, hourly gig, that might be a half hour too? Anyone in such a position care to comment?

And all of this might produce less than Jackie has consumed during my work day, which means I get to get out of bed early on at least one weekend day to replenish the stash. But at least on those days I can sneak back into bed afterwards. If Robert doesn't wake up in the mean time. I maintain that it's worth it and I'm happier this way than I would be supplementing with formula. But I give props to any mamas out there who are in a similar situation and thoroughly sick of their breastpumps. One mama at work is almost done pumping for her third kiddo and says she's going to run her pump over with her car when she's done. (It's a Medela, so not really re-usable with another mom, or would have suggested donating it and just drop-kicking the personal accessory parts.)

A coworker knocked on my (locked) door the other day while I was pumping, not noticing my little sign, and then walked next door into my neighbor's empty office and called to ask me a question. I reacted a little "Dude, don't bust down my door, can't you read the sign?" and he was a little startled. I bet the whole incident has fallen out of his head since, but I wonder if perhaps I was a touch testier than necessary. So even us brazen lactivists get startled more easily when pumping, it seems. Less so than when the baby visits - she's cuter than Sukie the Hygeia EnJoy.

Lastly an update on the plugged ducts. They went on, almost entirely in the right breast, for a week or two. I used hot pads, baths, showers, ibuprofen, and am on lots of lecithin, in addition, of course, to just frequent nursing and pumping. They always resolved without turning into a mastitis, knock wood, but I noticed a reduced output from that side, as did Jackie, judging by her frustration with that breast, which is still going on over a week after the last noticeable plug resolved. I freaked out and called my lactation consultant, "Have I shut down my right breast???" She assured me that sometimes after any noticeable plugs are resolved, there is still a bit of coagulated milk in there causing a slowdown, and possibly some swelling. I should give that side extra attention and drain the breasts more frequently if I can, and see if it doesn't clear up soon. Phew!

Also tried a larger flange size on the pump. Was more comfortable but got less output, which means they are too big. Which, frankly, is a good thing, because it means all those extra parts I bought so I wouldn't have to wash at work are not wasted. I tried spreading the coconut oil further up the breast with the smaller flange size and that is helping with the comfort issue.

Lot of data this week! Hope some of it is useful or of interest to you. Happy boobjuicing all!

Much love,

Suzi