Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Massage, Weaning, and Other Matters

Beloved Readers,

Hello! I've missed you. I won't presume the feeling is mutual. I've had stuff going on, and I've been quite remiss. You would be well within your rights to be mad at me. But I am quite determined to finally write my weaning post. Why would that take me so long? Surely Ms. Boobjuice knows all about the weaning.

Nope.

Fairly useless on this topic. You can scroll back to see that in fact Robert called it quits, not the other way 'round. Jackie is still a boobmonster, and will turn three in September. Actually at this rate *I* will be turning to *you* for weaning tips. I have to preferred to think that I will let the kiddos decide, but with 32 pounds of squirmy mischief climbing on me at 5 in the morning, I may have to re-think that philosophy.

Luckily I have some other ideas for you.

One is to look at Kelly Mom. That website is a wealth of information.

Another is "Nursies When The Sun Shines," which is pretty much what it sounds like - a book to help a toddler understand that if they crawl into your bed and yank on your jammies at midnight, they ain't getting the good stuff.

Which leads me to another thought. A lot of us have cried "ENOUGH!" when in fact what we really want is to sleep for more than three consecutive hours. I am not going to judge you on either count. But if you think it's time to wean and are feeling conflicted about it, maybe consider if there is an interim step that would address your needs and your concerns at the same time. Like no nursing from 9 pm to 6 am, or something. Or to have your mother in law shut the hell up about how nursing past a year will turn your son gay. (I love that one. I thought men who loved boobs preferred women? And who the hell gives a crap if he's gay? People are so silly.)

With Robert, pretty soon after his first birthday I limited him to bed time and wake up time, and if he asked and it wasn't one of those, I explained that to him. (At 16 months I'm sure he found my reasoning terribly compelling.) In retrospect, this probably led to him weaning at 21 months instead of the 24 months I had hoped for. (And yes, with the balm of time I have acknowledged that those three months probably wouldn't have made a big difference to either of us.) I was a bit heartbroken, which my husband found confusing. Have y'all noticed that the sweetest, most supportive, allegedly pro-breastfeeding people do not understand why weaning leaves mama feeling like baby just broke up with her? I mean sometimes. Probably some mamas it doesn't. But I felt so rejected.

So with Jackie I was bound and determined not to do the same thing. I decided I'd let her decide. Well, at this rate, I'll be nursing her before she takes her driving test. Not my particular preference. So I have started enforcing the "it's too freaking early, I'll tuck you back into bed but no nursies" policy, and if I'm feeling "touched out" or if she's been chewing on me or if I'm trying to slice up steak for stir fry, I'll say no. More news as events warrant on whether she loses interest or I cut her off at the source.

Meanwhile I want to share that I had a FANTASTIC massage today at Dragontree Spa in NW Portland, and a lovely conversation with the therapist about birth. Tee hee! I love my cute little crunchy granola city. I also loved my massage - I may request her next time. And massage is SO. LOVELY. But you knew that.

AHhhhhhhhhhh.

Much love,
Suzi

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