Saturday, June 28, 2014

Happens to Everyone, Right?

Beloved Readers,

As you may well have noticed, I am a yoga enthusiast. It can be tricky to get a real yoga class squeezed in between work, kid time, laundry, and oh, right, sleep. So the other day, I left work at 4:40 to rush over the river to a 5:00 class. (Which turned out to be a 5:30 class, which renders all the ridiculousness to follow even less necessary.) My favorite studio is just at the first exit off I-5 North after crossing the lovely Willamette, so I take that route even when it looks like a parking lot. Which it did on this lovely evening. Going six miles per hour, I reasoned, even if I completely lost control of my cute little Prius, I wasn't going to kill anyone - likely not even bruise them. So it made perfect sense, of course, to change my clothes in the car. Right? Are you with me? Come on, I've pumped milk in that car... Right. I'm glad you agree.

Now I didn't want to give any truckers a free show, so I calculated how I could effect the whole transaction without actually being bare at any time, while still waiting to get up the on-ramp. I wiggle my shoes off, move forward a bit, move the waist of my skirt up a couple inches, go ten feet... so I'm working on merging into the stop and idle traffic just as I'm getting my underpants off my second leg, glancing at the person who's going to be neighborly and let me merge in front of him. I'm changing totally on autopilot, I've totally forgotten that it's even going on, just as the guy waves me in, I bring my right hand up to wave thanks... and then realize I've got my hot pink panties in that hand.

So that's how I waved my panties at a stranger on the freeway. I was mortified and giggled my way across the river. But that's the nicest smile I think I've gotten in traffic for years and years.

Right. Happens to everyone, I'm sure.

Much love,
Suzi

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