Hello Dear Boobjuicers and Friends!
This is a really good video about pumping technique, aimed at moms of preemies but useful for all who will be pumping at any time.
http://newborns.stanford.edu/Breastfeeding/MaxProduction.html
A couple of quibbles - the Hind milk is not "most nutritious," it's highest in fat. Which is very, very important, but so are the yummy vitamins in the foremilk. Also I don't know anyone who massaged their nipples while preparing to pump but if yours aren't hurting it's probably harmless and who knows, might help. Just be sure your hands are clean, which of course you did because you are pumping in the first place. Recall my ridiculously detailed description of one pumping session:
http://suzisboobjuice.blogspot.com/2009/12/bessies-dance.html
Totally concur that one should NOT feel compelled to up the suction on the pump to where it is uncomfortable. I had some not terribly helpful person in the hospital just automatically turn the pump to maximum. Ouch. Wanted to kick her. I think I used the pump on the lowest level much of the time, or close to it. As the manual says, turn it up to where it is slightly uncomfortable and then back it off until it is not uncomfortable. And as a side note there are all different kinds of folks in the Lactation Consultant world and if you aren't hitting it off with the one in your maternity ward or the one your girlfriend referred you to, by all means, find another. Some fancy mama/baby stores have one on staff and they are often very generous with their time on the phone, I have found. (Read: free advice! but to help them keep it free I advise buying something from their store when you have the chance.)
They have you massaging with the pump off after pumping - I'll try that next round should I be so blessed as to have another one. I tended to just leave the pump going while doing the hand expression at the end, out of sheer laziness, but who knows, maybe the rest is helpful. And of course if the shields aren't in your way you could turn off the pump but leave your band on to hold the bottles in place.
Remember you can single pump with a dual-electric pump by blocking one hole with the plug provided.
I think this video really calls attention to the importance of a good pumping band. I tried the one seen in the video and found it didn't stay up well - might work better on more buxom women. I liked this one:
http://www.amazon.com/Hands-Free-Breast-Pump-Halter/dp/B000HKYKT0/ref=sr_1_11?ie=UTF8&qid=1292837795&sr=8-11
Not the softest thing in the world but highly adjustable and stayed up well because of neck strap. Amazon has a new one up with different colors which looks softer but less adjustable - might find yourself buying a second size, which isn't the end of the world but we don't all have limitless funds to be throwing at pumping bras...
http://www.amazon.com/PumpEase-Hands-Free-Pumping-Support/dp/B0034ISZ5W/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1292837819&sr=8-4
If one of you has that one, let me know how you like it.
Alright, back to bed soon. Boy are my sleep patterns jacked up.
Much love,
Suzi
Monday, December 20, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Travel Stories, Part II
Hello Dear Boobjuicers and friends!
Here we have the next installment of Boobjuice On the Go, from Mama Emily. She kindly shared her story with me and has agreed to let me share it with you. I hope you find it helpful and encouraging as I have!
Much love,
Suzi
When Kiddo was three months old I went to a conference overnight for two nights. I shared a room with three other women and was so excited about the prospect of sleeping through the night that I didn't set an alarm or anything. First night I woke up sometime in a totally soaking wet bed and clothes and in some serious pain. I had to take a warm shower and sit in the corner with my pump for a long time to relieve myself. Next night I made sure I got up a couple of times to pump in the dark corner. Crept away from conference all day long to pump. I think at that point I had a little store at home for Kiddo to have when I was away...but he probably got a little formula too, which ended up happening at least once a day when I went back to work because it seemed like no matter how much I pumped at work, I was always one bottle short of what he wanted during the day.
I'm really hoping this next one I'm having nurses well! I kinda miss it...Kiddo stopped around 20 months...I was about 4 months preggo and it started to hurt like HELL to have him nurse. I couldn't hack it. He was only nursing to go to sleep then, and I explained what was going on and he was totally fine...I think he asked to nurse about two times after that but was never upset about it. Guess he was ready! He's totally obsessed with my gigantic preggo boobs right now though. He's constantly "massaging" them and sticking his hands down my shirt. We're talking a lot about how the next baby with be getting "Mommy's milk" to prepare him. I think he gets it, but I'm prepared for a *little* (I hope) jealousy.
Here we have the next installment of Boobjuice On the Go, from Mama Emily. She kindly shared her story with me and has agreed to let me share it with you. I hope you find it helpful and encouraging as I have!
Much love,
Suzi
When Kiddo was three months old I went to a conference overnight for two nights. I shared a room with three other women and was so excited about the prospect of sleeping through the night that I didn't set an alarm or anything. First night I woke up sometime in a totally soaking wet bed and clothes and in some serious pain. I had to take a warm shower and sit in the corner with my pump for a long time to relieve myself. Next night I made sure I got up a couple of times to pump in the dark corner. Crept away from conference all day long to pump. I think at that point I had a little store at home for Kiddo to have when I was away...but he probably got a little formula too, which ended up happening at least once a day when I went back to work because it seemed like no matter how much I pumped at work, I was always one bottle short of what he wanted during the day.
I'm really hoping this next one I'm having nurses well! I kinda miss it...Kiddo stopped around 20 months...I was about 4 months preggo and it started to hurt like HELL to have him nurse. I couldn't hack it. He was only nursing to go to sleep then, and I explained what was going on and he was totally fine...I think he asked to nurse about two times after that but was never upset about it. Guess he was ready! He's totally obsessed with my gigantic preggo boobs right now though. He's constantly "massaging" them and sticking his hands down my shirt. We're talking a lot about how the next baby with be getting "Mommy's milk" to prepare him. I think he gets it, but I'm prepared for a *little* (I hope) jealousy.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Solo Mama Week - Holy Tired, Batman!
Hello Dear Boobjuicers and Friends!
I write to you from lovely, snowy Indiana! It's really coming down outside, but luckily my mother-in-law likes to keep the kitchen stocked as though she will be hosting a dinner for 25 five nights in a row at all times. Kiddo, like the California-born child he is, did not care for the snow, and demanded "Up!" every time we stood him on the lawn, despite being wrapped in coat, gloves, scarf, mittens, and awesome waterproof boots. Ah well, our fault for making him a West Coast boy.
We are visiting to help out and cheer up Grandpa, who had half his liver and all of gall bladder removed as part of his battle with metastatic colon cancer. Grandpa is recovering nicely. Hubby came out before and during the surgery for over a week, and I used up some of my use-or-lose leave to stay home with the kiddo.
Holy crap is that hard work.
Which is weird because often I was just sitting or standing still, watching Kiddo do something totally harmless like play with his toys or torture the cat. But one isn't totally relaxed unless Kiddo is asleep, and even then one is as likely as not to be madly doing dishes, cleaning up, moving the laundry along, or trying to (gasp!) sit still in front of the computer for five minutes trying to communicate with some grown-ups.
I got lonely and cranky on day 2, because I had set up tons of playdates and activities, but starting on day 3. That's how I kept myself at all sane - we went out a LOT. Just chasing Kiddo around the apartment seemed like the surest way to go stark raving mad. I even went to a drop-in mama group in hippier-than-thou Northeast Portland, which was a nice break. Turned into snack potluck which was funny - all the mamas had brought snacks, and all the kiddos wanted to try everyone else's snacks. Worked well. Kiddo got VERY used to being stuffed into his carseat by the end of the week! And we made a new friend, out in an ex-burb of PDX with lots of trees and mountains and even a creek in her neighborhood. Plus she made totally killer scones, with tons of butter and whole cream. This is my kind of lady. Her four year old did a great job sharing his toys with my Kiddo, whom I basically just watched running from the play schoolbus (about half the size of my couch) to the Elmo Kitchen (which is freaking hilarious and slightly scary) for three hours. Clearly playdates are the key to the sanity of the stay-at-home parent. That and prioritizing - I decided I would not cook all week. I made lentils the first Sunday but after that it was all packaged tortellini, takeout, and similar fare.
On Wednesday I had a meltdown and yelled at Kiddo. I immediately realized it and apologized, but he had this shocked look on his face that just broke my heart. At nap time I called Hubby and whined and whined about what a wimp I was. Not slightly hard on myself, at all. Nope.
I very much enjoyed all the time with Kiddo, and I'm not sure I have ever been so happy to see my husband as when we picked him up at the airport on Sunday. I refused to be even slightly helpful in the kid department for like the next 24 hours, I think. Everyone find a solo parent this week and give them a huge hug and a standing ovation. PHEW!
We also started our cloth diaper experiment while Daddy was away, which is going really well. Up to this point they just sounded like so much more trouble than disposable, despite all these mamas insisting that no they were not. Well, they clearly are more work than just opening a sack of disposables, but oddly they don't feel like more trouble. I sort of like doing laundry, which probably helps, but it also just becomes a very easy routine. Even dumping the solids in the toilet doesn't seem like that big of a deal - before it was all, "Eeeeew, carry the poopy diaper to the bathroom???" but you know, it's also, "EEEeeeew, a pail full of poo sitting in Kiddo's room?" and after one or two of these transits it just doesn't seem like a big deal. I think I want one of those toilet sprayers for getting the last bit off the diaper so I don't have to go at it with toilet paper, but still, it seems pretty easy. Plus Kiddo clearly likes them better, and his skin is happier. Which makes it all worth it.
So now Hubby and Kiddo are napping, I am baking oatmeal raisin chocolate chip hazelnut cookies (supposed to be walnuts, oops), and life is cozy and pleasant. I do advise against getting colon cancer though. It's a bitch.
Be well all! More travel stories soon!
Much love,
Suzi
I write to you from lovely, snowy Indiana! It's really coming down outside, but luckily my mother-in-law likes to keep the kitchen stocked as though she will be hosting a dinner for 25 five nights in a row at all times. Kiddo, like the California-born child he is, did not care for the snow, and demanded "Up!" every time we stood him on the lawn, despite being wrapped in coat, gloves, scarf, mittens, and awesome waterproof boots. Ah well, our fault for making him a West Coast boy.
We are visiting to help out and cheer up Grandpa, who had half his liver and all of gall bladder removed as part of his battle with metastatic colon cancer. Grandpa is recovering nicely. Hubby came out before and during the surgery for over a week, and I used up some of my use-or-lose leave to stay home with the kiddo.
Holy crap is that hard work.
Which is weird because often I was just sitting or standing still, watching Kiddo do something totally harmless like play with his toys or torture the cat. But one isn't totally relaxed unless Kiddo is asleep, and even then one is as likely as not to be madly doing dishes, cleaning up, moving the laundry along, or trying to (gasp!) sit still in front of the computer for five minutes trying to communicate with some grown-ups.
I got lonely and cranky on day 2, because I had set up tons of playdates and activities, but starting on day 3. That's how I kept myself at all sane - we went out a LOT. Just chasing Kiddo around the apartment seemed like the surest way to go stark raving mad. I even went to a drop-in mama group in hippier-than-thou Northeast Portland, which was a nice break. Turned into snack potluck which was funny - all the mamas had brought snacks, and all the kiddos wanted to try everyone else's snacks. Worked well. Kiddo got VERY used to being stuffed into his carseat by the end of the week! And we made a new friend, out in an ex-burb of PDX with lots of trees and mountains and even a creek in her neighborhood. Plus she made totally killer scones, with tons of butter and whole cream. This is my kind of lady. Her four year old did a great job sharing his toys with my Kiddo, whom I basically just watched running from the play schoolbus (about half the size of my couch) to the Elmo Kitchen (which is freaking hilarious and slightly scary) for three hours. Clearly playdates are the key to the sanity of the stay-at-home parent. That and prioritizing - I decided I would not cook all week. I made lentils the first Sunday but after that it was all packaged tortellini, takeout, and similar fare.
On Wednesday I had a meltdown and yelled at Kiddo. I immediately realized it and apologized, but he had this shocked look on his face that just broke my heart. At nap time I called Hubby and whined and whined about what a wimp I was. Not slightly hard on myself, at all. Nope.
I very much enjoyed all the time with Kiddo, and I'm not sure I have ever been so happy to see my husband as when we picked him up at the airport on Sunday. I refused to be even slightly helpful in the kid department for like the next 24 hours, I think. Everyone find a solo parent this week and give them a huge hug and a standing ovation. PHEW!
We also started our cloth diaper experiment while Daddy was away, which is going really well. Up to this point they just sounded like so much more trouble than disposable, despite all these mamas insisting that no they were not. Well, they clearly are more work than just opening a sack of disposables, but oddly they don't feel like more trouble. I sort of like doing laundry, which probably helps, but it also just becomes a very easy routine. Even dumping the solids in the toilet doesn't seem like that big of a deal - before it was all, "Eeeeew, carry the poopy diaper to the bathroom???" but you know, it's also, "EEEeeeew, a pail full of poo sitting in Kiddo's room?" and after one or two of these transits it just doesn't seem like a big deal. I think I want one of those toilet sprayers for getting the last bit off the diaper so I don't have to go at it with toilet paper, but still, it seems pretty easy. Plus Kiddo clearly likes them better, and his skin is happier. Which makes it all worth it.
So now Hubby and Kiddo are napping, I am baking oatmeal raisin chocolate chip hazelnut cookies (supposed to be walnuts, oops), and life is cozy and pleasant. I do advise against getting colon cancer though. It's a bitch.
Be well all! More travel stories soon!
Much love,
Suzi
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Wanderboobs, Part One
Hello Dear Boobjuicers and Friends!
A very happy Thanksgiving to you all, wherever you may be. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday - all of the food and none of the shopping! Plus I like to try to maintain a grateful disposition, and this is one day of the year where my sappiness is seasonally appropriate. So please indulge me as I say that today I am immensely grateful for my fantastic husband and beautiful, sweet, healthy son, and for the amazing gift which is the me that grew that little guy and nourished him for 21 months. Not that I'm not still nourishing him, just, you know, less directly. And as we all know because the news folks remind us eight jillion times a year, Thanksgiving is the busiest travel holiday of the year, and therefore seems like a great time to begin the long-awaited Travel Stories.
A lot of breadwinning, boobjuicing mamas have to travel for their jobs, whether all the time in a sales gig or occasionally to conferences. There are a lot of ways to handle this - as I have chronicled before, my choice was possibly the most expensive and least practical, but suited me best, which was to bring Kiddo and sometimes Hubby with me all the time. This is not tenable for most families, even if you have friends (read: free babysitting) all over the country. Frankly it wasn't particularly tenable for us either, financially speaking, but for one year we made it work - let's just say this wasn't the year we got that housing down payment up towards the 20% level. But emotionally, for me, it was the right thing to do.
It was also the easiest in terms of breastfeeding, although of course there are the same timing challenges that one always experiences when balancing breadwinning with boobjuicing. I think the funniest example, which did not feel funny at the time, was when I was first trying to convince my current company that I was all that and a bag of chips and they should hire me and move me to Oregon. (Did I mention I courted this company for 18 months before I got an offer, and that Kiddo was born in the midst of that? Do not let some naysayer tell you that you cannot switch jobs while having kids).
We all three flew to Oregon when Kiddo was about three months old. I had a lunch arranged with an acquaintance at the firm, and then some informational interviews with some of his colleagues. We had flown in the previous day, or maybe two days ahead, but I know I didn't have time to accumulate more than one bottle of breastmilk in the fridge of my sister's apartment, where we were staying. So Hubby and Brother-in-law (Uncle E) drove me to the lunch meeting early, where we all sat in the guest parking lot and I nursed kiddo right before the lunch, praying that he would decide he was done before I was either late or had to oust him. Somehow that worked without him screaming his head off. I met my now colleague for lunch, while Hubby and Uncle E went to another nearby eatery. We met back up an hour and a half later in the same parking lot, where I had like 27 minutes before my informational interviews started. I nursed Kiddo again, the whole time praying in gratitude that he wanted to nurse, rather than sleep through my break and wake up hungry 60 seconds before I had to get out of the car. Of course I could have spent this time pumping, but I wasn't very familiar with pumping yet so it seemed like the only option to nurse.
Then came the tough part. I had an unknown amount of time, possibly three hours, before I could leave and go nurse Kiddo again, and Hubby had one not particularly large bottle of milk in the fridge. If he had spilled it I was sure the entire universe would implode, starting with a small black hole in the middle of my chest. (This is absurd of course, he would have soothed the baby until I showed up, but it didn't seem that way.) As it turns out I was only in meetings for two hours, so that helped. I called and Hubby had used the bottle and wanted me home ASAP but Kiddo was sleeping, and of course coming to get me in the rental car meant maybe waking up the baby. So Uncle E, sweet darling that he is, got a zipcar and came to whisk me and the girls home to our waiting Kiddo, who survived the whole ordeal unscathed.
Phew!
I can't say I *recommend* job hunting with a tiny tike, but we don't always have a choice, or want to wait another year to get out of a gig. So I offer this example of how traveling (in this case as part of a job search) can indeed work out.
Let me say for the umpteenth time that my method was best for me, but was expensive and elaborate. Please do not feel you have to do it my way or not travel until you and your little one are done with the boobjuicing. I have collected more stories from other mamas who did it differently than I did and will start sharing those soon!
Happy Thanksgiving, happy boobjuicing, and safe travels to all!
Much love,
Suzi
A very happy Thanksgiving to you all, wherever you may be. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday - all of the food and none of the shopping! Plus I like to try to maintain a grateful disposition, and this is one day of the year where my sappiness is seasonally appropriate. So please indulge me as I say that today I am immensely grateful for my fantastic husband and beautiful, sweet, healthy son, and for the amazing gift which is the me that grew that little guy and nourished him for 21 months. Not that I'm not still nourishing him, just, you know, less directly. And as we all know because the news folks remind us eight jillion times a year, Thanksgiving is the busiest travel holiday of the year, and therefore seems like a great time to begin the long-awaited Travel Stories.
A lot of breadwinning, boobjuicing mamas have to travel for their jobs, whether all the time in a sales gig or occasionally to conferences. There are a lot of ways to handle this - as I have chronicled before, my choice was possibly the most expensive and least practical, but suited me best, which was to bring Kiddo and sometimes Hubby with me all the time. This is not tenable for most families, even if you have friends (read: free babysitting) all over the country. Frankly it wasn't particularly tenable for us either, financially speaking, but for one year we made it work - let's just say this wasn't the year we got that housing down payment up towards the 20% level. But emotionally, for me, it was the right thing to do.
It was also the easiest in terms of breastfeeding, although of course there are the same timing challenges that one always experiences when balancing breadwinning with boobjuicing. I think the funniest example, which did not feel funny at the time, was when I was first trying to convince my current company that I was all that and a bag of chips and they should hire me and move me to Oregon. (Did I mention I courted this company for 18 months before I got an offer, and that Kiddo was born in the midst of that? Do not let some naysayer tell you that you cannot switch jobs while having kids).
We all three flew to Oregon when Kiddo was about three months old. I had a lunch arranged with an acquaintance at the firm, and then some informational interviews with some of his colleagues. We had flown in the previous day, or maybe two days ahead, but I know I didn't have time to accumulate more than one bottle of breastmilk in the fridge of my sister's apartment, where we were staying. So Hubby and Brother-in-law (Uncle E) drove me to the lunch meeting early, where we all sat in the guest parking lot and I nursed kiddo right before the lunch, praying that he would decide he was done before I was either late or had to oust him. Somehow that worked without him screaming his head off. I met my now colleague for lunch, while Hubby and Uncle E went to another nearby eatery. We met back up an hour and a half later in the same parking lot, where I had like 27 minutes before my informational interviews started. I nursed Kiddo again, the whole time praying in gratitude that he wanted to nurse, rather than sleep through my break and wake up hungry 60 seconds before I had to get out of the car. Of course I could have spent this time pumping, but I wasn't very familiar with pumping yet so it seemed like the only option to nurse.
Then came the tough part. I had an unknown amount of time, possibly three hours, before I could leave and go nurse Kiddo again, and Hubby had one not particularly large bottle of milk in the fridge. If he had spilled it I was sure the entire universe would implode, starting with a small black hole in the middle of my chest. (This is absurd of course, he would have soothed the baby until I showed up, but it didn't seem that way.) As it turns out I was only in meetings for two hours, so that helped. I called and Hubby had used the bottle and wanted me home ASAP but Kiddo was sleeping, and of course coming to get me in the rental car meant maybe waking up the baby. So Uncle E, sweet darling that he is, got a zipcar and came to whisk me and the girls home to our waiting Kiddo, who survived the whole ordeal unscathed.
Phew!
I can't say I *recommend* job hunting with a tiny tike, but we don't always have a choice, or want to wait another year to get out of a gig. So I offer this example of how traveling (in this case as part of a job search) can indeed work out.
Let me say for the umpteenth time that my method was best for me, but was expensive and elaborate. Please do not feel you have to do it my way or not travel until you and your little one are done with the boobjuicing. I have collected more stories from other mamas who did it differently than I did and will start sharing those soon!
Happy Thanksgiving, happy boobjuicing, and safe travels to all!
Much love,
Suzi
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Who Designed this Stupid Urethra Anyway!!!
Dear Boobjuicers and Friends,
ARGH! Okay I know I promised more boobjuice this time but I must rant. What the everloving crap is up here. I am a pretty healthy specimen and I am following all the known rules of female self care and I have ANOTHER stupid urinary tract infection. For crap sake. How did the species reproduce before antibiotics? Presumably petri dishes like me just died of kidney infections (which is what happens if you let a UTI run rampant, not that anyone would these days since they freaking HURT and are easy to treat) and did NOT in fact successfully reproduce. Further proof that I am a mutant. And the whole yeast in the breasts thing is poorly designed too, although I suspect that it was less common before my aforementioned, beloved antibiotics. Grumble.
So other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play? Well, a lot of mamas look forward to having their bodies to themselves again after their little ones wean. Once Kiddo got down to one nursing a day, except for being afraid to miss a day (which was probably not a big deal but felt like it), it was pretty easy, and I enjoyed the nursing, and didn't mind sharing. It's not as hard as when you feel like you can't get three minutes alone to pee with both hands free, let alone take a shower. Or when you're eight months pregnant and battling aches, and heartburn, and having someone jumping up and down on your bladder. So now that he's done, and we're not quite ready for Blessing #2 (I'm thinking January...), it's kind of lonely in here all by myself! How silly is that. And mamas who haven't been able to spend 24 hours alone for years are probably rolling their eyes right now. Can't blame ya. But there it is.
Well, make hay while the sun shines, after all. So I went to Nice Boss, and explained, trying very hard to avoid Too Much Information Syndrome (Nice Boss is far too polite to tell me if I were to subject him to TMI but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen I'm sure), that we have a "window of opportunity" at the moment where it's going to be very easy for me to travel, and then the window will close, in a few months, or perhaps later. And therefore what travel would he like me to crank out while we have the chance? Which is how I ended up with a trip to Anchorage for a December 21 meeting. That's right. I'm going to Alaska on the shortest day of the year. Pretty hilarious. Unfortunately I will be in that fine state for less than 24 hours, but if I'm lucky I might see the Aurora Borealis. And I won serious points from our vendor for being willing to visit in December. Besides it doesn't feel like that big of a deal - I went to college in Minnesota, after all, and my meeting is like five miles from the airport. So I get to win points for doing something which strikes me as pretty easy.
I'm also, as I think I mentioned, taking advantage of this window to do all the Scary Research and other planning for Blessing #2 so that I can relax and enjoy my pregnancy when (hopefully) it starts. I have the ICAN website pulled up. I haven't clicked on any of the links yet. Too scary looking. Medical studies are so varied, and technical, and can be quite slanted, or just poorly executed. And it's that one in a million stories where the poor mama actually *does* spontaneously combust in a pool of despair on the hospital floor that seems to stick in my head, instead of those other 999,999 women who just had a few stitches afterwards. Bleh. There's this whole, "you need to arm yourself with information in advance" ethic, which is very sound advice, but I am feeling paralyzed, because I know I can't possibly learn all of it and besides the idea that I'm going to remember any of it when I'm in labor is sort of ludicrous. I'm reading Ina Mae's Guide to Childbirth, which so far is very non-scary.
On the more fun side, I'm also thinking, what gear and fun stuff do I want that I liked or wished I had for Kiddo? Doula, natch. I want a fancy pants recliner to nurse in. That may or may not happen given that there is no where in this cute little riverfront apartment to *put* such an item, except in Kiddo's room, and I'm not going to make him deal with a newborn in his room until hypothetical Blessing #2 is at least 6 months old. Plus I think this time I want to keep the baby with me much longer. We moved Kiddo into his own room at four or five months. It hurt me way more than him, and it was impractical, and when I finally worked up the courage to say "screw this 'sleep training' bullpoo," it just meant that much further to walk to console the little guy when he needed it. So we'll have to see on the recliner, anyway. Bassinet or cosleeper of some sort. Our bed is too small and high-up to put the baby in it with me, I think, except while actually nursing. But within arm's reach sounds like totally the way to go. I may try cloth diapers this time around. Or I might get some that are supposed to fit all sizes of kiddo now to try on my first little dude, and see how we like them. And I want a nursing bracelet so I'm not constantly taking notes about which boob was when. And I only have like four kid carriers, so it seems high time to try a couple more... I have a sling, and an ergo if my mama friend is done borrowing it by then (and if not I have an excuse to buy one in a color I like better!), and a sort of crappy Jeep branded one by Kolkraft which is a baby bjorn knockoff, and a moby wrap. Moby wrap is great for tiny ones and until they can squirm around, but doesn't feel secure enough to me for out of the house. Sling is well loved by many mamas but I need someone to teach me how to nurse in it. Mama RR tried, bless her, but I think I'm going to need like a hands on tutorial... Better start saving now!
Back to tending my upset tummy (mmmm... Cipro... another advantage to weaning I guess, that the Cipro is okay for now) and lying on the couch staring out at the Wintry Mix.
Much love,
Suzi
ARGH! Okay I know I promised more boobjuice this time but I must rant. What the everloving crap is up here. I am a pretty healthy specimen and I am following all the known rules of female self care and I have ANOTHER stupid urinary tract infection. For crap sake. How did the species reproduce before antibiotics? Presumably petri dishes like me just died of kidney infections (which is what happens if you let a UTI run rampant, not that anyone would these days since they freaking HURT and are easy to treat) and did NOT in fact successfully reproduce. Further proof that I am a mutant. And the whole yeast in the breasts thing is poorly designed too, although I suspect that it was less common before my aforementioned, beloved antibiotics. Grumble.
So other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play? Well, a lot of mamas look forward to having their bodies to themselves again after their little ones wean. Once Kiddo got down to one nursing a day, except for being afraid to miss a day (which was probably not a big deal but felt like it), it was pretty easy, and I enjoyed the nursing, and didn't mind sharing. It's not as hard as when you feel like you can't get three minutes alone to pee with both hands free, let alone take a shower. Or when you're eight months pregnant and battling aches, and heartburn, and having someone jumping up and down on your bladder. So now that he's done, and we're not quite ready for Blessing #2 (I'm thinking January...), it's kind of lonely in here all by myself! How silly is that. And mamas who haven't been able to spend 24 hours alone for years are probably rolling their eyes right now. Can't blame ya. But there it is.
Well, make hay while the sun shines, after all. So I went to Nice Boss, and explained, trying very hard to avoid Too Much Information Syndrome (Nice Boss is far too polite to tell me if I were to subject him to TMI but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen I'm sure), that we have a "window of opportunity" at the moment where it's going to be very easy for me to travel, and then the window will close, in a few months, or perhaps later. And therefore what travel would he like me to crank out while we have the chance? Which is how I ended up with a trip to Anchorage for a December 21 meeting. That's right. I'm going to Alaska on the shortest day of the year. Pretty hilarious. Unfortunately I will be in that fine state for less than 24 hours, but if I'm lucky I might see the Aurora Borealis. And I won serious points from our vendor for being willing to visit in December. Besides it doesn't feel like that big of a deal - I went to college in Minnesota, after all, and my meeting is like five miles from the airport. So I get to win points for doing something which strikes me as pretty easy.
I'm also, as I think I mentioned, taking advantage of this window to do all the Scary Research and other planning for Blessing #2 so that I can relax and enjoy my pregnancy when (hopefully) it starts. I have the ICAN website pulled up. I haven't clicked on any of the links yet. Too scary looking. Medical studies are so varied, and technical, and can be quite slanted, or just poorly executed. And it's that one in a million stories where the poor mama actually *does* spontaneously combust in a pool of despair on the hospital floor that seems to stick in my head, instead of those other 999,999 women who just had a few stitches afterwards. Bleh. There's this whole, "you need to arm yourself with information in advance" ethic, which is very sound advice, but I am feeling paralyzed, because I know I can't possibly learn all of it and besides the idea that I'm going to remember any of it when I'm in labor is sort of ludicrous. I'm reading Ina Mae's Guide to Childbirth, which so far is very non-scary.
On the more fun side, I'm also thinking, what gear and fun stuff do I want that I liked or wished I had for Kiddo? Doula, natch. I want a fancy pants recliner to nurse in. That may or may not happen given that there is no where in this cute little riverfront apartment to *put* such an item, except in Kiddo's room, and I'm not going to make him deal with a newborn in his room until hypothetical Blessing #2 is at least 6 months old. Plus I think this time I want to keep the baby with me much longer. We moved Kiddo into his own room at four or five months. It hurt me way more than him, and it was impractical, and when I finally worked up the courage to say "screw this 'sleep training' bullpoo," it just meant that much further to walk to console the little guy when he needed it. So we'll have to see on the recliner, anyway. Bassinet or cosleeper of some sort. Our bed is too small and high-up to put the baby in it with me, I think, except while actually nursing. But within arm's reach sounds like totally the way to go. I may try cloth diapers this time around. Or I might get some that are supposed to fit all sizes of kiddo now to try on my first little dude, and see how we like them. And I want a nursing bracelet so I'm not constantly taking notes about which boob was when. And I only have like four kid carriers, so it seems high time to try a couple more... I have a sling, and an ergo if my mama friend is done borrowing it by then (and if not I have an excuse to buy one in a color I like better!), and a sort of crappy Jeep branded one by Kolkraft which is a baby bjorn knockoff, and a moby wrap. Moby wrap is great for tiny ones and until they can squirm around, but doesn't feel secure enough to me for out of the house. Sling is well loved by many mamas but I need someone to teach me how to nurse in it. Mama RR tried, bless her, but I think I'm going to need like a hands on tutorial... Better start saving now!
Back to tending my upset tummy (mmmm... Cipro... another advantage to weaning I guess, that the Cipro is okay for now) and lying on the couch staring out at the Wintry Mix.
Much love,
Suzi
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Weaning, Whining, and Who's Next
Dear Boobjuicers and Friends,
No, I'm not pregnant. But the twinkle in my eye is getting mighty bright.
I am quite determined to do everything I can to enable a hypothetical second kiddo to come out the main exit, rather than my poor little dude who had to come out the emergency escape hatch in a babyectomy (more commonly known as a Cesarean Section - was Caesar actually born this way? 'cause I'm pretty sure that would mean mama Caesar never got to meet him.) So today I visited a waterbirth center just a mile from my home here in Beervana. (No I'm not drinking beer.) I feel very encouraged about VBAC, and the center was lovely, and I have a feeling that this was not my midwife or my birth center. But no worries! Another appointment at another waterbirth center next week. That's right people. There are two within a five mile radius of my abode. Which doesn't even include fancy pants OHSU, which has birth tubs and midwives but won't let you VBAC in the tub (dumb dumb dumb. Who ever says insurance companies don't make medical decisions is ignoring cause and effect.) Because Portland is all that and a bag of chips. A bag of locally grown, organic chips, thankyouverymuch.
I can't deny that some of this eagerness for the second kiddo has been hastened by first Kiddo weaning (which appears to have utterly and completely taken hold at this point). But we totally wanted another one, and I had been all worried about whether I would have to wean Kiddo before he chose to do so in order to get pregnant or due to discomfort during pregnancy. And now I don't have to make that decision. I am slowly coming around to feeling grateful to the universe for helping me out on that point, as I gradually come to the realization that Kiddo did not break up with me. It felt a little like he did though, and one of my mama friends agreed with me. Another mama friend had the most totally perfect reaction - I mentioned that Robert had weaned and she said, "Oh my gosh, are you okay?" She totally got it without my having to even say, "I feel sad." That was awesome. My sweet, sweet husband has been everything that is supportive and loving (hm, syntax suffering from Jane Austen syndrome, from watching P&P and S&S while flat on my back with nasty cold...) but that is different from someone who has been there and totally gets it.
So last pregnancy I felt very anxious and vulnerable in the face of all this DATA coming STRAIGHT AT MY HEAD! all of which certainly meant that I would make the Wrong Choice and my child would suffer horribly for my ignorance. Not even a tiny bit prone to the dramatic, me, particularly me on progesterone poisoning. Nope. So this time around I have the distinct advantage of having done this before, but seeing as this could (assuming we are blessed with another kiddo) be my last ride on this merry-go-round, I want to be able to relax and enjoy it, and having squared away who is going to take care of us will be a great start. So this place was lovely, and this midwife clearly knowledgeable and dedicated, but there was an... energy. Sorry to be so specific. It probably didn't help that after telling her about my blog and giving her one of my blog cards (midwives are usually big lactivists) she asked if I wanted to meet her kiddo who had never had a bottle even though she works full time. Grrr. She readily acknowledged that working at a birth center with a full-time-on-site nanny is not what most women get to do. And of course the kid was adorable. Also she was very young, and I think I need a midwife my age or older. Which is not fair but there it is. Anyway, I'm going to trust my gut on this one, see how the second birth center is, and if I like the first one better they do have nine midwives, some of them are bound to click for me.
One interesting analogy has struck me in recent days with this little project. I have met a lot of medical professionals who are very dismissive about what the mama wants in the birth experience, like she is being unreasonable and demanding, and will just have to get what she gets. Nobody says this to you when you are planning a wedding. It's all color schemes and themes and fancy invitations and blah blah blah and make sure the bride is happy. Now I realize that there are seldom serious medical complications for brides (although I bet if there were proper studies on this we would find more than people realize, mostly due to anxiety and families going weird on brides with no warning). But it strikes me that birth is every bit as emotionally important as a wedding. Even more so to those of us whose weddings are waaaaay back in the rear view mirror. Frankly by the time all the planning was in full swing I would have been happy to keep the money and elope, but I'm glad I didn't. But my point is, we've gone all weird on birth in this country and we treat it like you've got some sort of odd malady to be survived, rather than a miracle in your belly which is to be celebrated at every possible moment. This is dumb and I ain't gonna put up with it this time. I won't make my doula wear a bridesmaid dress, but I am going to do everything I can to make this go well and be enjoyable. And after all that, if hypothetical Kiddo #2 has to come out the escape hatch, I hope I will be able to be at peace with it.
More boob juice next time, promise.
Much love,
Suzi
PS - in case anyone reading this is still baking their bun, please don't be freaked out about c-section. I got all disappointed about mine but it's totally survivable and sometimes really is best for one or both parties involved. First day afterwards was a belly ache and felt like a nasty flu, and then got better and better. Abdominal soreness lasted longer than I expected but was totally tolerable. So please don't freak yourself out about it. You have survived worse, I'm sure.
No, I'm not pregnant. But the twinkle in my eye is getting mighty bright.
I am quite determined to do everything I can to enable a hypothetical second kiddo to come out the main exit, rather than my poor little dude who had to come out the emergency escape hatch in a babyectomy (more commonly known as a Cesarean Section - was Caesar actually born this way? 'cause I'm pretty sure that would mean mama Caesar never got to meet him.) So today I visited a waterbirth center just a mile from my home here in Beervana. (No I'm not drinking beer.) I feel very encouraged about VBAC, and the center was lovely, and I have a feeling that this was not my midwife or my birth center. But no worries! Another appointment at another waterbirth center next week. That's right people. There are two within a five mile radius of my abode. Which doesn't even include fancy pants OHSU, which has birth tubs and midwives but won't let you VBAC in the tub (dumb dumb dumb. Who ever says insurance companies don't make medical decisions is ignoring cause and effect.) Because Portland is all that and a bag of chips. A bag of locally grown, organic chips, thankyouverymuch.
I can't deny that some of this eagerness for the second kiddo has been hastened by first Kiddo weaning (which appears to have utterly and completely taken hold at this point). But we totally wanted another one, and I had been all worried about whether I would have to wean Kiddo before he chose to do so in order to get pregnant or due to discomfort during pregnancy. And now I don't have to make that decision. I am slowly coming around to feeling grateful to the universe for helping me out on that point, as I gradually come to the realization that Kiddo did not break up with me. It felt a little like he did though, and one of my mama friends agreed with me. Another mama friend had the most totally perfect reaction - I mentioned that Robert had weaned and she said, "Oh my gosh, are you okay?" She totally got it without my having to even say, "I feel sad." That was awesome. My sweet, sweet husband has been everything that is supportive and loving (hm, syntax suffering from Jane Austen syndrome, from watching P&P and S&S while flat on my back with nasty cold...) but that is different from someone who has been there and totally gets it.
So last pregnancy I felt very anxious and vulnerable in the face of all this DATA coming STRAIGHT AT MY HEAD! all of which certainly meant that I would make the Wrong Choice and my child would suffer horribly for my ignorance. Not even a tiny bit prone to the dramatic, me, particularly me on progesterone poisoning. Nope. So this time around I have the distinct advantage of having done this before, but seeing as this could (assuming we are blessed with another kiddo) be my last ride on this merry-go-round, I want to be able to relax and enjoy it, and having squared away who is going to take care of us will be a great start. So this place was lovely, and this midwife clearly knowledgeable and dedicated, but there was an... energy. Sorry to be so specific. It probably didn't help that after telling her about my blog and giving her one of my blog cards (midwives are usually big lactivists) she asked if I wanted to meet her kiddo who had never had a bottle even though she works full time. Grrr. She readily acknowledged that working at a birth center with a full-time-on-site nanny is not what most women get to do. And of course the kid was adorable. Also she was very young, and I think I need a midwife my age or older. Which is not fair but there it is. Anyway, I'm going to trust my gut on this one, see how the second birth center is, and if I like the first one better they do have nine midwives, some of them are bound to click for me.
One interesting analogy has struck me in recent days with this little project. I have met a lot of medical professionals who are very dismissive about what the mama wants in the birth experience, like she is being unreasonable and demanding, and will just have to get what she gets. Nobody says this to you when you are planning a wedding. It's all color schemes and themes and fancy invitations and blah blah blah and make sure the bride is happy. Now I realize that there are seldom serious medical complications for brides (although I bet if there were proper studies on this we would find more than people realize, mostly due to anxiety and families going weird on brides with no warning). But it strikes me that birth is every bit as emotionally important as a wedding. Even more so to those of us whose weddings are waaaaay back in the rear view mirror. Frankly by the time all the planning was in full swing I would have been happy to keep the money and elope, but I'm glad I didn't. But my point is, we've gone all weird on birth in this country and we treat it like you've got some sort of odd malady to be survived, rather than a miracle in your belly which is to be celebrated at every possible moment. This is dumb and I ain't gonna put up with it this time. I won't make my doula wear a bridesmaid dress, but I am going to do everything I can to make this go well and be enjoyable. And after all that, if hypothetical Kiddo #2 has to come out the escape hatch, I hope I will be able to be at peace with it.
More boob juice next time, promise.
Much love,
Suzi
PS - in case anyone reading this is still baking their bun, please don't be freaked out about c-section. I got all disappointed about mine but it's totally survivable and sometimes really is best for one or both parties involved. First day afterwards was a belly ache and felt like a nasty flu, and then got better and better. Abdominal soreness lasted longer than I expected but was totally tolerable. So please don't freak yourself out about it. You have survived worse, I'm sure.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
The New Boobjuicer Blahs
Hello Dear Boobjuicers and Friends!
I just received the following comment on a previous post from a new mama whose kiddo is about two months old:
I've been feeling somewhat down on breastfeeding. It just seems like it's more of a hassle to breastfeed than to formula feed. People are more comfortable with a bottle than a boob. Last weekend I nursed in public for the first time. I refuse to nurse in a bathroom anymore. What do you usually tell people if breastfeeding makes them uncomfortable?
I wrote such a huge reply that Google wouldn't post it as a comment, so here it is, even larger now:
I think we have all had this moment. There are a lot of reasons why new mamas (and even repeat mamas, I hear told) get discouraged or exasperated. It can be uncomfortable. We have to learn to be okay with whipping out the girls in public - something we have been discouraged from doing since well before there was anything to whip out. And I think pretty much all of us, at some point, get annoyed with our co-parent that he or she could, theoretically, sleep through the night, and we can't. So I will start by saying what I and many other mamas have said before: I promise, it is worth it.
There are sort of two things to address here, so I'll take them separately. The first one is the comfort issue. I think you mean emotionally and socially comfortable (although if you mean physically comfortable let me know - lots of help available for that). I think the real answer is to examine what it is that makes you uncomfortable. Is it the bare breasted aspect of it? Is it that you think your baby is bothering someone by crying that she is hungry? Is it that you think other people think you are weird for breastfeeding?
When Kiddo was a brand new little dude, I was at first very shy and apologetic about breastfeeding, and then went into this sort of in-your-face mode of being assertive that it was okay to breastfeed in public. I found after a while that a lot of my militant lactivism was actually a defensive reaction based on an assumption that everyone was looking at me funny for nursing in public. In fact, the vast majority of people weren't paying me any attention at all. A small sub-group were looking at me in a "yay she's breastfeeding!" way, with friendly smiles. And a smaller sub-group looked, freaked out, and looked away. This is probably the group that has you nervous? While they would be more comfortable if you were using a bottle, that's their problem, not yours. You're not nursing in front of a huge camera broadcasting into their living room, you're not nursing in their home, and you're probably not nursing anywhere they can't just choose to look away. It's a sad comment on American prudishness that they are more comfortable watching you feed your kid something so nutritionally inferior out of a plastic bottle than watching you do something perfectly natural, which you were designed by God and nature to do. And sadly, this is far from the last time that someone who parents or imagines they would parent differently from you is going to be uncomfortable with your choices. Even if you didn't breastfeed, you would have to learn to ignore people's judgements of your parenting. It's a sad fact, and breastfeeding is a great opportunity to learn to handle it in an area where you are more sure of yourself than you might be when it's time outs, or letting the kid cry in the grocery store, or whatever it's going to be.
Lastly, there probably are still one or two people out there who see a woman breastfeeding, pull a face, and make a snotty comment to their companions, "oh mah gah, I canNOT beLIEVE she is DOING THAT!" These people are lame jerks who really need to get a hobby. They are not worth your bother, except maybe to sit up straighter, pull your own face that says "Darn tootin' I am, and my boobs are nicer than yours too, so BRING IT!" Seriously, totally not worth your time. These people probably think pregnant women should hide under burlap sacks and never go out of doors. They need therapy and you are best served to ignore them, or laugh at them quietly to yourself.
I nursed everywhere without apology after a while. I made two exceptions - church and the workplace, the former being full of tiny little old men who I figured might actually have a heart attack, and the latter being somewhere that someone really couldn't leave without risking their livelihood. Eventually I realized the tiny old men didn't even care and nursed in church once or twice. Of course it's up to you to decide what you are comfortable with, but I would encourage you to think of your breastfeeding as not only every bit as publicly appropriate as a bottle, but as a way to say to all who might see you just how dedicated you are to giving your kiddo the very best possible.
That said, if you still feel ambivalent, try a nursing cover up. I have one to spare if you want it - Kiddo hated it and now I'm so brazen I probably wouldn't even bother for the hypothetical next one. If you really just feel shy about your breasts, this will help. After a while you may become more comfortable with the idea though - half the people on the planet have breasts or will have them, and much of the other half was nursed with breasts, or is otherwise fond of them. Very, very few people leer at a breastfeeding woman in a sexual way - if they are pervy enough to leer sexually, the baby usually turns them off.
Some people will think you are weird for breastfeeding, and more so the older your kid gets. They are wrong. They represent an opportunity for you to demonstrate how totally together, thoughtful, normal women like you choose breastfeeding for a lot of reasons, none of which are weird. They may very well appreciate one day that you made it easier for them to breastfeed or support their partner in breastfeeding. I say this from personal experience. I used to be uncomfortable around breastfeeding women, and I remember thinking my friend was weird for nursing her toddler. Boy I hope she didn't notice, but if she did, I am so, so sorry, and so very grateful now for her example.
Once I got more comfortable about breastfeeding, I was able to observe more objectively the reactions around me. So many mamas smiling nostalgically, which was so, so nice. Some people even made supportive comments, which might feel a little awkward at first but is really very sweet. Hosts making sure I was comfortable, fetching me pillows and glasses of water. Mamas encouraging their little ones to give me room or privacy if I wanted it. A pastor even said a prayer of gratitude for my ability to nourish my child. The zeitgeist is swinging back towards this miraculous gift you have to give your child, and you get to be a part of that wave. Yes, I am getting a bit carried away, but hey, just use me as a yard stick - you're not nearly as weird as me yet so you must be okay, right?
As to hassle, I think learning to nurse is harder than learning to use formula, but once you've got the hang if it, it's way easier. Think how much junk you have to gather together to go anywhere with your little one. Now imagine that you had to also guess how much Kiddo would want to eat, make sure you had enough clean bottles to serve that much, possibly mix the formula before you go or have to worry about whether you would be comfortable with the water supply while you were out (maybe you're not squeemish about tap water but some mamas are) and then haul all that extra stuff around with you. Also you have to keep ahead on formula supply at home or make late night trips to the store when you run out, and that stuff is expensive! And don't even get me started on traveling. I loved how easy it was to feed Kiddo when we were on an airplane, and of course this also soothed his ears during takeoff and landing.
Obviously I am biased and have a bit of an agenda, but I think breastfeeding is extremely rewarding, much easier than formula feeding, and something to be totally proud of, not shy about. I bet you will soon feel much more comfortable.
Good luck and happy breastfeeding!
Much love,
Suzi
I just received the following comment on a previous post from a new mama whose kiddo is about two months old:
I've been feeling somewhat down on breastfeeding. It just seems like it's more of a hassle to breastfeed than to formula feed. People are more comfortable with a bottle than a boob. Last weekend I nursed in public for the first time. I refuse to nurse in a bathroom anymore. What do you usually tell people if breastfeeding makes them uncomfortable?
I wrote such a huge reply that Google wouldn't post it as a comment, so here it is, even larger now:
I think we have all had this moment. There are a lot of reasons why new mamas (and even repeat mamas, I hear told) get discouraged or exasperated. It can be uncomfortable. We have to learn to be okay with whipping out the girls in public - something we have been discouraged from doing since well before there was anything to whip out. And I think pretty much all of us, at some point, get annoyed with our co-parent that he or she could, theoretically, sleep through the night, and we can't. So I will start by saying what I and many other mamas have said before: I promise, it is worth it.
There are sort of two things to address here, so I'll take them separately. The first one is the comfort issue. I think you mean emotionally and socially comfortable (although if you mean physically comfortable let me know - lots of help available for that). I think the real answer is to examine what it is that makes you uncomfortable. Is it the bare breasted aspect of it? Is it that you think your baby is bothering someone by crying that she is hungry? Is it that you think other people think you are weird for breastfeeding?
When Kiddo was a brand new little dude, I was at first very shy and apologetic about breastfeeding, and then went into this sort of in-your-face mode of being assertive that it was okay to breastfeed in public. I found after a while that a lot of my militant lactivism was actually a defensive reaction based on an assumption that everyone was looking at me funny for nursing in public. In fact, the vast majority of people weren't paying me any attention at all. A small sub-group were looking at me in a "yay she's breastfeeding!" way, with friendly smiles. And a smaller sub-group looked, freaked out, and looked away. This is probably the group that has you nervous? While they would be more comfortable if you were using a bottle, that's their problem, not yours. You're not nursing in front of a huge camera broadcasting into their living room, you're not nursing in their home, and you're probably not nursing anywhere they can't just choose to look away. It's a sad comment on American prudishness that they are more comfortable watching you feed your kid something so nutritionally inferior out of a plastic bottle than watching you do something perfectly natural, which you were designed by God and nature to do. And sadly, this is far from the last time that someone who parents or imagines they would parent differently from you is going to be uncomfortable with your choices. Even if you didn't breastfeed, you would have to learn to ignore people's judgements of your parenting. It's a sad fact, and breastfeeding is a great opportunity to learn to handle it in an area where you are more sure of yourself than you might be when it's time outs, or letting the kid cry in the grocery store, or whatever it's going to be.
Lastly, there probably are still one or two people out there who see a woman breastfeeding, pull a face, and make a snotty comment to their companions, "oh mah gah, I canNOT beLIEVE she is DOING THAT!" These people are lame jerks who really need to get a hobby. They are not worth your bother, except maybe to sit up straighter, pull your own face that says "Darn tootin' I am, and my boobs are nicer than yours too, so BRING IT!" Seriously, totally not worth your time. These people probably think pregnant women should hide under burlap sacks and never go out of doors. They need therapy and you are best served to ignore them, or laugh at them quietly to yourself.
I nursed everywhere without apology after a while. I made two exceptions - church and the workplace, the former being full of tiny little old men who I figured might actually have a heart attack, and the latter being somewhere that someone really couldn't leave without risking their livelihood. Eventually I realized the tiny old men didn't even care and nursed in church once or twice. Of course it's up to you to decide what you are comfortable with, but I would encourage you to think of your breastfeeding as not only every bit as publicly appropriate as a bottle, but as a way to say to all who might see you just how dedicated you are to giving your kiddo the very best possible.
That said, if you still feel ambivalent, try a nursing cover up. I have one to spare if you want it - Kiddo hated it and now I'm so brazen I probably wouldn't even bother for the hypothetical next one. If you really just feel shy about your breasts, this will help. After a while you may become more comfortable with the idea though - half the people on the planet have breasts or will have them, and much of the other half was nursed with breasts, or is otherwise fond of them. Very, very few people leer at a breastfeeding woman in a sexual way - if they are pervy enough to leer sexually, the baby usually turns them off.
Some people will think you are weird for breastfeeding, and more so the older your kid gets. They are wrong. They represent an opportunity for you to demonstrate how totally together, thoughtful, normal women like you choose breastfeeding for a lot of reasons, none of which are weird. They may very well appreciate one day that you made it easier for them to breastfeed or support their partner in breastfeeding. I say this from personal experience. I used to be uncomfortable around breastfeeding women, and I remember thinking my friend was weird for nursing her toddler. Boy I hope she didn't notice, but if she did, I am so, so sorry, and so very grateful now for her example.
Once I got more comfortable about breastfeeding, I was able to observe more objectively the reactions around me. So many mamas smiling nostalgically, which was so, so nice. Some people even made supportive comments, which might feel a little awkward at first but is really very sweet. Hosts making sure I was comfortable, fetching me pillows and glasses of water. Mamas encouraging their little ones to give me room or privacy if I wanted it. A pastor even said a prayer of gratitude for my ability to nourish my child. The zeitgeist is swinging back towards this miraculous gift you have to give your child, and you get to be a part of that wave. Yes, I am getting a bit carried away, but hey, just use me as a yard stick - you're not nearly as weird as me yet so you must be okay, right?
As to hassle, I think learning to nurse is harder than learning to use formula, but once you've got the hang if it, it's way easier. Think how much junk you have to gather together to go anywhere with your little one. Now imagine that you had to also guess how much Kiddo would want to eat, make sure you had enough clean bottles to serve that much, possibly mix the formula before you go or have to worry about whether you would be comfortable with the water supply while you were out (maybe you're not squeemish about tap water but some mamas are) and then haul all that extra stuff around with you. Also you have to keep ahead on formula supply at home or make late night trips to the store when you run out, and that stuff is expensive! And don't even get me started on traveling. I loved how easy it was to feed Kiddo when we were on an airplane, and of course this also soothed his ears during takeoff and landing.
Obviously I am biased and have a bit of an agenda, but I think breastfeeding is extremely rewarding, much easier than formula feeding, and something to be totally proud of, not shy about. I bet you will soon feel much more comfortable.
Good luck and happy breastfeeding!
Much love,
Suzi
Monday, November 8, 2010
The Beginning of the End?
Hello Dear Boobjuicers and Friends!
So, earlier than expected, I think my little dude is weaning.* A couple weeks ago when we did our normal bedtime routine and I said "Do you want Boo?" (Boo is what he started calling breastmilk, short for boobjuice no doubt.) He said, "no." and went about choosing books and walking about his room. That night he eventually changed his mind, but I was trying very hard not to try to talk him in to it, or to cry, since of course he didn't do anything wrong and I didn't want him to think he had. But last night, Hubby was doing bedtime (and I was lying in the grown up bed because I am sick as a dog with a headcold right now, fun) and then he came to tell me Kiddo was asleep. "Oh, no, nursing!" I said in my groggy, just-wakened state. Hubby explained that he had asked if Kiddo had wanted boo, and Kiddo had said no and insisted instead that he wanted to be put in his old carseat (which he has outgrown for carseat purposes) and rocked, and that Hubby must close the door.
So we'll see what happens tonight. I dealt with a lot of the sadness the first night he almost didn't nurse, including lots of crying and reading (of course I have a stack of books on my bedside table about breastfeeding, including one on weaning, I hope to review it when I'm done), and trying to explain to Hubby that his very sweet and well-intended attempts to talk me out of being upset were just going to get him in trouble, and this was one of those "sympathetic quiet nod" moments of being a husband. Last night wasn't quite as sad, perhaps because of that first almost-end and perhaps because I am so sick right now I didn't have the energy to be upset. At any rate, I am starting to feel ready to get to work on Kiddo #2, which is assuaging my grief somewhat. And some part of me is pretty excited about the convenience of being able to be away from Kiddo for a night or two without hassle - it's going to make business travel a LOT easier! But our boobjuice partnership has been such a wonderful blessing, and whether it's now or in the future, I'll be sad to see it end, even while I'm relieved and proud and in wonder at my little guy growing up.
Happy Boobjuicing!
Love,
Suzi
*Yes, I know that the minute I put anything other than a breast in Kiddo's mouth was the official beginning of the weaning process. Here I am using the more common definition of the term to mean the end of breastfeeding.
So, earlier than expected, I think my little dude is weaning.* A couple weeks ago when we did our normal bedtime routine and I said "Do you want Boo?" (Boo is what he started calling breastmilk, short for boobjuice no doubt.) He said, "no." and went about choosing books and walking about his room. That night he eventually changed his mind, but I was trying very hard not to try to talk him in to it, or to cry, since of course he didn't do anything wrong and I didn't want him to think he had. But last night, Hubby was doing bedtime (and I was lying in the grown up bed because I am sick as a dog with a headcold right now, fun) and then he came to tell me Kiddo was asleep. "Oh, no, nursing!" I said in my groggy, just-wakened state. Hubby explained that he had asked if Kiddo had wanted boo, and Kiddo had said no and insisted instead that he wanted to be put in his old carseat (which he has outgrown for carseat purposes) and rocked, and that Hubby must close the door.
So we'll see what happens tonight. I dealt with a lot of the sadness the first night he almost didn't nurse, including lots of crying and reading (of course I have a stack of books on my bedside table about breastfeeding, including one on weaning, I hope to review it when I'm done), and trying to explain to Hubby that his very sweet and well-intended attempts to talk me out of being upset were just going to get him in trouble, and this was one of those "sympathetic quiet nod" moments of being a husband. Last night wasn't quite as sad, perhaps because of that first almost-end and perhaps because I am so sick right now I didn't have the energy to be upset. At any rate, I am starting to feel ready to get to work on Kiddo #2, which is assuaging my grief somewhat. And some part of me is pretty excited about the convenience of being able to be away from Kiddo for a night or two without hassle - it's going to make business travel a LOT easier! But our boobjuice partnership has been such a wonderful blessing, and whether it's now or in the future, I'll be sad to see it end, even while I'm relieved and proud and in wonder at my little guy growing up.
Happy Boobjuicing!
Love,
Suzi
*Yes, I know that the minute I put anything other than a breast in Kiddo's mouth was the official beginning of the weaning process. Here I am using the more common definition of the term to mean the end of breastfeeding.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Work, pump, work, pump, work, pump, work, pump, fall over.
Hello Dear Boobjuicers and Friends!
So I am recently inspired by a new mama, the wife of a colleague (who is such the cute proud papa with their 7-week-old snugglebean in his arms but I will not say that at work because we are all Polite Professionals who do not call each other adorable, or dear, which of course I never do at work. Nope. Doesn't happen.) She is starting to pump in anticipation of going back to her breadwinning gig part time. I meant, when I was pumping four times a day at my breadwinning job, to outline a day's schedule for you, Dear Boobjuicers, to illustrate one of my major themes in this blog:
You are not alone in finding this to be a major pain in the ass. It is still worth it. You will get used to it and better at it, and it's not forever. It is worth it. You will be majorly proud of yourself. You can do it. It is worth it.
So here it is. As I recall from my previous gig, and from the first two months at this gig, it went a little something like this:
Get to work by 8 if at all possible. (On Mondays, dial in to the weekly meeting and mute it so they don't hear me chewing/pumping/swearing at whatever I just dropped on my toe.) Put equipment in place. Do some work.
9:00 or 9:30 - pump round one. I liked to leave this until the later time if I could get away with it, because I found I got more milk if I did, and also it was nice to feel like I'd been working for more than ten minutes. But remember you don't want to have nursings/pumpings be more than three hours apart, and you want 8 or more rounds with kiddo or pump a day if at all feasible. Look at a real authority here, like The Nursing Mother's Companion, or a lactation consultant, not me, but to avoid losing ground on supply there is a minimum number of times per day you want the girls to get drained by the pump (Bessie) or Kiddo. So, pumping routine, which for me included a little bit of work on the computer while Bessie did her thing. If you have to pump away from your work station, is there something you could be reading that relates to work? It made me less anxious to think I was getting some breadwinning work done while the girls were doing their thing.
(Read the one pumping session blog entry here, imagine that has passed.)
The whole pumping routine took about 40 minutes, from getting up to wash my hands to sitting down to work again afterwards, including storing my catch and washing the pump parts. With Mama CC's brilliant tip about having enough pump parts to go through the day without washing in between, you could cut 3-5 minutes off that.
So then I'd pump again at 11:00 or 11:30, 2ish, and 4ish. I almost never ate lunch away from my desk, and I would often work until 6. This is not necessarily the best way to do things, but with my awesome commute (10 minute walk) I could get away with it and that made for something approximating eight hours of actual work in the day.
I have a lot of meetings and calls to do in the course of my job, and I had to be careful to schedule those to allow for pumping. There were definitely some anxious moments of realizing I had booked things poorly, but my new boss was extremely understanding about the whole thing, and basically just treated me like a grown-up who knew better than him where I needed to be. It's awesome to have a boss like that. We do not all have bosses like that. I have some thoughts on that point, but the biggest suggestion, and possibly the hardest but I have done it too (remember this is my *new* boss) is to phrase your conversations about the time and resources you need in terms of, "here is how I am going to continue to do the awesome work to which you have become accustomed." And most bosses are not the person to whom you should vent, unless they are lactivist mamas of kids who have all weaned already. Which, statistically speaking, your boss probably is not. Know that the law is on your side, but avoid referring to law unless you have to, I would say. Of course you know your situation and your boss and I do not. But bosses get nervous when you start quoting labor law, and conversations are harder when people are nervous.
There were days I felt like I got no work done. There were days I could not bring myself to pump a fourth time. There were two days back in California, and I do NOT recommend this, that I pumped on the drive home instead. I don't think this was terribly safe, and I wound up deciding it only got me home 15 minutes sooner, because I still had the same setup and take down, and it was harder to do well in the car. But my point is this: you will have imperfect days. You might get frustrated or feel overwhelmed. Me too! And I made it. And Kiddo only got formula once (and puked it all back up but that is another story). Which is not to say that if your Kiddo ever gets formula you have failed. Nonsense.
My point is this: I did it, therefore you can too. I'm just a mama like you, perhaps a bit more stubborn than some. I'm not a big supply boobjuicer, bottom end of adequate I would say. You can do this. It will be worth it. You can whine to me all you like about how hard it is, and I will acknowledge that yes, it is hard. It is worth it. You can do it.
One last note: there are lactivists who feel that pumping is a sorry thing to which we resort because our maternity leave practices in this country are crap. Well, if I lived in Denmark, which might be nifty, I would still have a breastpump. I'm not someone who would be happy staying home all day with my Kiddo. Not just mildly bored, I mean, out and out depressed. I'm not built for it. I come from a long line of women who need to work to be happy people. And unhappy people are not as good at being mamas as they are when they are happy. And I am not going to apologize to La Leche League or anyone else for wanting a breadwinning job. Kiddo got through it just fine, our boobjuicing partnership has been awesome, and I am among Medela's biggest fans. (Except their bras are small.) So if you get this sort of noise from your lactation consultant or someone else to whom you turned for help, take a deep breath, feel free to hide behind economic necessity (I did!) but do NOT feel guilty for wanting or needing to work. Even stay at home mamas might like to go out for an hour and a half without panicking that their kid is starving and Dad/co-Mama/babysitter is losing their cool. I'm good with that too.
There are more thoughts than perhaps you wanted on this topic. I hope you are all well and have a fabulous Hallowe'en. (Go as a cow, that would be funny. Or a big bottle of milk. Or a huge boob. Or a really tired woman with a kid hanging off her boob.)
Much love,
Suzi
So I am recently inspired by a new mama, the wife of a colleague (who is such the cute proud papa with their 7-week-old snugglebean in his arms but I will not say that at work because we are all Polite Professionals who do not call each other adorable, or dear, which of course I never do at work. Nope. Doesn't happen.) She is starting to pump in anticipation of going back to her breadwinning gig part time. I meant, when I was pumping four times a day at my breadwinning job, to outline a day's schedule for you, Dear Boobjuicers, to illustrate one of my major themes in this blog:
You are not alone in finding this to be a major pain in the ass. It is still worth it. You will get used to it and better at it, and it's not forever. It is worth it. You will be majorly proud of yourself. You can do it. It is worth it.
So here it is. As I recall from my previous gig, and from the first two months at this gig, it went a little something like this:
Get to work by 8 if at all possible. (On Mondays, dial in to the weekly meeting and mute it so they don't hear me chewing/pumping/swearing at whatever I just dropped on my toe.) Put equipment in place. Do some work.
9:00 or 9:30 - pump round one. I liked to leave this until the later time if I could get away with it, because I found I got more milk if I did, and also it was nice to feel like I'd been working for more than ten minutes. But remember you don't want to have nursings/pumpings be more than three hours apart, and you want 8 or more rounds with kiddo or pump a day if at all feasible. Look at a real authority here, like The Nursing Mother's Companion, or a lactation consultant, not me, but to avoid losing ground on supply there is a minimum number of times per day you want the girls to get drained by the pump (Bessie) or Kiddo. So, pumping routine, which for me included a little bit of work on the computer while Bessie did her thing. If you have to pump away from your work station, is there something you could be reading that relates to work? It made me less anxious to think I was getting some breadwinning work done while the girls were doing their thing.
(Read the one pumping session blog entry here, imagine that has passed.)
The whole pumping routine took about 40 minutes, from getting up to wash my hands to sitting down to work again afterwards, including storing my catch and washing the pump parts. With Mama CC's brilliant tip about having enough pump parts to go through the day without washing in between, you could cut 3-5 minutes off that.
So then I'd pump again at 11:00 or 11:30, 2ish, and 4ish. I almost never ate lunch away from my desk, and I would often work until 6. This is not necessarily the best way to do things, but with my awesome commute (10 minute walk) I could get away with it and that made for something approximating eight hours of actual work in the day.
I have a lot of meetings and calls to do in the course of my job, and I had to be careful to schedule those to allow for pumping. There were definitely some anxious moments of realizing I had booked things poorly, but my new boss was extremely understanding about the whole thing, and basically just treated me like a grown-up who knew better than him where I needed to be. It's awesome to have a boss like that. We do not all have bosses like that. I have some thoughts on that point, but the biggest suggestion, and possibly the hardest but I have done it too (remember this is my *new* boss) is to phrase your conversations about the time and resources you need in terms of, "here is how I am going to continue to do the awesome work to which you have become accustomed." And most bosses are not the person to whom you should vent, unless they are lactivist mamas of kids who have all weaned already. Which, statistically speaking, your boss probably is not. Know that the law is on your side, but avoid referring to law unless you have to, I would say. Of course you know your situation and your boss and I do not. But bosses get nervous when you start quoting labor law, and conversations are harder when people are nervous.
There were days I felt like I got no work done. There were days I could not bring myself to pump a fourth time. There were two days back in California, and I do NOT recommend this, that I pumped on the drive home instead. I don't think this was terribly safe, and I wound up deciding it only got me home 15 minutes sooner, because I still had the same setup and take down, and it was harder to do well in the car. But my point is this: you will have imperfect days. You might get frustrated or feel overwhelmed. Me too! And I made it. And Kiddo only got formula once (and puked it all back up but that is another story). Which is not to say that if your Kiddo ever gets formula you have failed. Nonsense.
My point is this: I did it, therefore you can too. I'm just a mama like you, perhaps a bit more stubborn than some. I'm not a big supply boobjuicer, bottom end of adequate I would say. You can do this. It will be worth it. You can whine to me all you like about how hard it is, and I will acknowledge that yes, it is hard. It is worth it. You can do it.
One last note: there are lactivists who feel that pumping is a sorry thing to which we resort because our maternity leave practices in this country are crap. Well, if I lived in Denmark, which might be nifty, I would still have a breastpump. I'm not someone who would be happy staying home all day with my Kiddo. Not just mildly bored, I mean, out and out depressed. I'm not built for it. I come from a long line of women who need to work to be happy people. And unhappy people are not as good at being mamas as they are when they are happy. And I am not going to apologize to La Leche League or anyone else for wanting a breadwinning job. Kiddo got through it just fine, our boobjuicing partnership has been awesome, and I am among Medela's biggest fans. (Except their bras are small.) So if you get this sort of noise from your lactation consultant or someone else to whom you turned for help, take a deep breath, feel free to hide behind economic necessity (I did!) but do NOT feel guilty for wanting or needing to work. Even stay at home mamas might like to go out for an hour and a half without panicking that their kid is starving and Dad/co-Mama/babysitter is losing their cool. I'm good with that too.
There are more thoughts than perhaps you wanted on this topic. I hope you are all well and have a fabulous Hallowe'en. (Go as a cow, that would be funny. Or a big bottle of milk. Or a huge boob. Or a really tired woman with a kid hanging off her boob.)
Much love,
Suzi
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Mama Wisdom
Hello Dear Boobjuicers and Friends!
Again I have been the blessed recipient of Mama Wisdom. This is, by my definition anyway, a special category of mom to mom advice. Not just good advice, which we all know is an unfortunately small subset of total advice received. This is that particular bit of advice which finds us at just the right moment and causes a cloud to lift off of our brains or hearts or both, leaving us feeling not only able to face what ever challenge drove us to seek advice (or just to vent) in the first place, but also as though we are truly not alone.
I have received Mama Wisdom from all sorts of interesting and unexpected places, but most recently, at a wedding. The Wise Mama is a friend that was at grad school with Hubby. We were chatting about parenting breastfeeding while I was staring unabashedly at her unreasonably beautiful daughter, who is turning into quite a young lady. She is much more of an earth mama type than me, and I have in the past have been skeptical of herbs and similar advice. But it turns out she was spot on. I tried one cup of the tea she recommended on Sunday and almost immediately felt much better! Of course I also spent almost three hours on my own, having lunch and poking around Sur la Table and Powell's Books (yay kitchen stuff and books!) But I'm sure the tea helped. Now I just have to find the happy balance between the helpful mood lifting effect of the tea and the laxative effect of the fenugreek in the herbs. (Best to ease into these things and not have two cups on day one and three cups on day two, it seems.)
Meanwhile Kiddo is seeming a little less interested in nursing of late, not consistently, but more frequently than before. He had a nasty head cold which turned into an ear infection, so until we got his sinuses opened up a bit it was hard for him to breathe while nursing. But I think maybe he is getting less interested generally. We'll see. I feel sad about it, but less so than I would have even a couple months ago, I think. And I feel a little more confident that he will still want me to pick him up and cuddle him, which he does in the mornings when we don't nurse any more. So maybe we're both approaching that point of being ready to put the boobies away. But for now I will look forward to "boo" again tonight.
Much love,
Suzi
Again I have been the blessed recipient of Mama Wisdom. This is, by my definition anyway, a special category of mom to mom advice. Not just good advice, which we all know is an unfortunately small subset of total advice received. This is that particular bit of advice which finds us at just the right moment and causes a cloud to lift off of our brains or hearts or both, leaving us feeling not only able to face what ever challenge drove us to seek advice (or just to vent) in the first place, but also as though we are truly not alone.
I have received Mama Wisdom from all sorts of interesting and unexpected places, but most recently, at a wedding. The Wise Mama is a friend that was at grad school with Hubby. We were chatting about parenting breastfeeding while I was staring unabashedly at her unreasonably beautiful daughter, who is turning into quite a young lady. She is much more of an earth mama type than me, and I have in the past have been skeptical of herbs and similar advice. But it turns out she was spot on. I tried one cup of the tea she recommended on Sunday and almost immediately felt much better! Of course I also spent almost three hours on my own, having lunch and poking around Sur la Table and Powell's Books (yay kitchen stuff and books!) But I'm sure the tea helped. Now I just have to find the happy balance between the helpful mood lifting effect of the tea and the laxative effect of the fenugreek in the herbs. (Best to ease into these things and not have two cups on day one and three cups on day two, it seems.)
Meanwhile Kiddo is seeming a little less interested in nursing of late, not consistently, but more frequently than before. He had a nasty head cold which turned into an ear infection, so until we got his sinuses opened up a bit it was hard for him to breathe while nursing. But I think maybe he is getting less interested generally. We'll see. I feel sad about it, but less so than I would have even a couple months ago, I think. And I feel a little more confident that he will still want me to pick him up and cuddle him, which he does in the mornings when we don't nurse any more. So maybe we're both approaching that point of being ready to put the boobies away. But for now I will look forward to "boo" again tonight.
Much love,
Suzi
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
The Inconvenience of Non-Invulnerability Whilst Breastfeeding
Hello Dear Boobjuicers and Friends!
Sorry to report that ranty Suzi is back.
So I've had an interesting week, and yes it's only Tuesday. I got a UTI, and no, I didn't even get to do anything fun to earn it, but thanks. So okay, no biggie, do like a grownup and go to urgent care for a visit. Piece of cake. "Is that antibiotic safe to take while breastfeeding?" Blank stare. Click, click, click. "The computer says probably safe." That's nice. What does your education and vast experience caring for the total human including her nursing offspring say? It says cricket noises, that's what it says.
Okay to be fair this young chap is used to sprained ankles, food poisoning, and UTIs from pre/non-mamas who *did* get to do something fun to earn it and are *not* breastfeeding. But it's just a classic example of what I consider to be shocking ignorance in the medical community about breastfeeding. When I was struggling with yeast in the breasts when Kiddo was more dependent on me for food, I had an ob/gyn tell me I had to stop breastfeeding to use Diflucan. Um, hello, you're an obstetrician. Don't you know stuff about breastfeeding? "He's already been exposed to tons of Diflucan." "oh, hm, let me see (pulls out handy reference guide from pocket, leafs to appropriate page) Yeah maybe it's okay." HELLO!!!! Is breastfeeding so unimportant to you, a freaking obstetrician, that you can't be bothered to pull the booklet out of your pocket to start with? Do OBs only care about uteruses or something? What the hell! Okay to be fair the guy (yes, man) who pulled Kiddo out on his birthday was WAY more sympathetic, not less ignorant about yeast in the breasts but totally supportive of breastfeeding, and completely cooperated with the research I sent him and trying those regimens (again click the link above for the yeast entry to see more). So I'm painting a lot of doctors with one brush, but hey, I'm curled up on the couch with a UTI and an upset tummy (mmmm, Macrobid...) so a little leniency on being polite is fair I think.
So we mamas get told to wean or to pump and dump so that we can take a particular drug for some problem which most of the time can probably be treated with some kiddo safe (and probably generic read cheaper) alternative. There is totally not enough research on drug tolerance and breastfeeding out there. And the manufacturer's website (not to name any names but this drug was really popular when the anthrax letters happened) was hilarious, basically boiled down to "our lawyers told us to disclaim any and all responsibility for decisions, children, and our own products and to send you back to the doctor who gave you this bad advice in the first place."
What is a boobjuicer to do? Well, write your congressperson, sure, but meanwhile, get pushy. Your doctor knows a lot but not everything. You get to insist. You get to say, "no I will not pump and dump or wean, you need to find me a safe drug." There are a bazillion drugs out there, and there is probably an alternative. Usual disclaimers, I am not a doctor, you and your doctor(s) have to make the decisions, I'm just a mom and a lactivist. I know very little about medicine. Don't sue me, I have no money. But that said, I do know this. You can't just be a passive consumer of health care in this world. You have to be your own best advocate, and your kiddo's best advocate until kiddo is old enough to do it for kiddo's self. You *can* push back politely to your doctor. Most of the time when I have done so they have actually been appreciative for the new information.
Ugh, I'm tired and ranting. But you get my drift. Get pushy with your medical providers and let them know how important nursing is to you. Make them take the booklet out of their pocket for your kiddo.
And here is a quick shout out to the angel mamas who helped me this week. True friends and healers are such a blessing and I am grateful for the ones in my life.
Much love,
Suzi
Sorry to report that ranty Suzi is back.
So I've had an interesting week, and yes it's only Tuesday. I got a UTI, and no, I didn't even get to do anything fun to earn it, but thanks. So okay, no biggie, do like a grownup and go to urgent care for a visit. Piece of cake. "Is that antibiotic safe to take while breastfeeding?" Blank stare. Click, click, click. "The computer says probably safe." That's nice. What does your education and vast experience caring for the total human including her nursing offspring say? It says cricket noises, that's what it says.
Okay to be fair this young chap is used to sprained ankles, food poisoning, and UTIs from pre/non-mamas who *did* get to do something fun to earn it and are *not* breastfeeding. But it's just a classic example of what I consider to be shocking ignorance in the medical community about breastfeeding. When I was struggling with yeast in the breasts when Kiddo was more dependent on me for food, I had an ob/gyn tell me I had to stop breastfeeding to use Diflucan. Um, hello, you're an obstetrician. Don't you know stuff about breastfeeding? "He's already been exposed to tons of Diflucan." "oh, hm, let me see (pulls out handy reference guide from pocket, leafs to appropriate page) Yeah maybe it's okay." HELLO!!!! Is breastfeeding so unimportant to you, a freaking obstetrician, that you can't be bothered to pull the booklet out of your pocket to start with? Do OBs only care about uteruses or something? What the hell! Okay to be fair the guy (yes, man) who pulled Kiddo out on his birthday was WAY more sympathetic, not less ignorant about yeast in the breasts but totally supportive of breastfeeding, and completely cooperated with the research I sent him and trying those regimens (again click the link above for the yeast entry to see more). So I'm painting a lot of doctors with one brush, but hey, I'm curled up on the couch with a UTI and an upset tummy (mmmm, Macrobid...) so a little leniency on being polite is fair I think.
So we mamas get told to wean or to pump and dump so that we can take a particular drug for some problem which most of the time can probably be treated with some kiddo safe (and probably generic read cheaper) alternative. There is totally not enough research on drug tolerance and breastfeeding out there. And the manufacturer's website (not to name any names but this drug was really popular when the anthrax letters happened) was hilarious, basically boiled down to "our lawyers told us to disclaim any and all responsibility for decisions, children, and our own products and to send you back to the doctor who gave you this bad advice in the first place."
What is a boobjuicer to do? Well, write your congressperson, sure, but meanwhile, get pushy. Your doctor knows a lot but not everything. You get to insist. You get to say, "no I will not pump and dump or wean, you need to find me a safe drug." There are a bazillion drugs out there, and there is probably an alternative. Usual disclaimers, I am not a doctor, you and your doctor(s) have to make the decisions, I'm just a mom and a lactivist. I know very little about medicine. Don't sue me, I have no money. But that said, I do know this. You can't just be a passive consumer of health care in this world. You have to be your own best advocate, and your kiddo's best advocate until kiddo is old enough to do it for kiddo's self. You *can* push back politely to your doctor. Most of the time when I have done so they have actually been appreciative for the new information.
Ugh, I'm tired and ranting. But you get my drift. Get pushy with your medical providers and let them know how important nursing is to you. Make them take the booklet out of their pocket for your kiddo.
And here is a quick shout out to the angel mamas who helped me this week. True friends and healers are such a blessing and I am grateful for the ones in my life.
Much love,
Suzi
Saturday, September 25, 2010
The Nine Month Freakout
Hello Dear Boobjuicers and Friends!
Okay I totally promise I am going to continue on the travel thread. But one, I have done a crap job of getting to my friend mamas to ask if I can use their stories, and two, I have such a pressing topic I just have to share it: The Nine Month Freakout.
So of course it could be the eight month freakout or the ten month freakout. And while I think this might happen for mamas who are with their kiddos all day, I am referring in particular to the problem of Keeping Up With Demand Via Pumping. Somewhere around nine months, I seemed to have gotten it in my head that since Kiddo was eating more and more solid food, he would start needing less boobjuice. Incorrect. In fact, his caloric need seemed to be going up just exactly along the lines of his solid food intake, so the boobjuice demand was totally unchanged. Because I had gotten it in my head that I was going to be able to pump less, or at least have less trouble keeping up with him, this turned into a freakout. Sometimes Hubby would run out of boobjuice while I was at work, or have to give "scant" bottles (more on this below) in order to stretch it out. Finally it ended up with some very unscheduled days off and a panicked call to the lactation consultant.
The LC made a couple of excellent points. One, Kiddo was on solids now. If he had one more meal of solids during the days that I was off winning the bread, so what? He was getting plenty of nutrition, plenty of boobjuice, and an extra half an avocado in the afternoons was NOT a crisis. Two, I was producing plenty of milk. (Recall from earlier posts my adventures in fenugreek? Not only did the stuff totally not work on me and make me poop my pj's (ew), it was completely unnecessary. As were the disastrous adventures in barley water. Closest I had come to barfing since the first trimester.) Here "plenty" means he had several bottles during the day, he never complained about supply when he was nursing unless I had *just* pumped, and even in that latter case I still managed to get some good stuff into him. In terms of numbers, I think I was getting 4 or 5 ounces when I pumped first thing in the morning if I was lucky and he had slept through the night, and less otherwise. Then during the work day it varied but I think eight was average. You can do the math here and see that I was not producing enough on a work day to supply a whole work day. Hence, pumping on weekend mornings. Yes, it was a pain in the ass, and yes, it was worth it. I also worked from home on Wednesdays at this point which really helped.
I came up with a couple other ideas myself. At this point we all have it in our heads that we give boobjuice first and solids are like dessert. Which is totally correct when we are 4-6 months along and experimenting with rice cereal. But once Kiddo can eat all sorts of stuff, and digest it well, I think there is no reason you can't have the person wrangling your kiddo while you are at work give solids *first* for most meals. This means Kiddo should be more full and need less boobjuice, at least for a couple of sittings. This will help stretch the supply during the day. Caveat: if your pediatrician or LC says differently of course that trumps my suggestions. But it never hurts to ask for a second opinion if what they are saying isn't working for you.
Lastly I want to point out something that actually smacked us upside the head earlier than nine months but came up in discussion last week. My dear colleague Mama CC has just encountered the Nine Month Freakout, and we had a heartfelt conversation in the hallway a week or so ago. It felt so good to be helpful to another mama! She is struggling to keep up with the amount of breastmilk that the daycare workers are giving her kiddo, and it had her in a panic. It turned out that the well-meaning Kiddo Caregivers were giving her little girl seven or eight ounces of breastmilk at a time. This is simply not necessary or productive. (The anti-pumping sorts will now go into the requisite rant about how bottle feeding is unnatural, it messes with Kiddo's demand signals, blah, blah. Tell them to start paying our rent and we'll think about it.)
I suggested instructing the day care folks to give solid foods first, give no more than five ounces of boobjuice in a bottle, and if she's still hungry try more solids after the bottle. This can be tricky (who wants avocado after yummy yummy boobjuice?) and who knows, the magic number might be six ounces, but the wildly large bottles Mama CC's kiddo was getting were a function of the glass bottles we anti-plastic mamas like to use (which come in four ounce and eight ounce, and if any of those manufacturers are listening PLEASE start making a five or six ounce one!!! ack!!!), and a new kid at the daycare who is being formula fed and gets seven our eight ounces at a time. This had both Mama CC and me wondering how that little one is not (a) puking more, or (b) obese yet, but as cited in earlier posts, it's none of our business. But really, seven ounces of anything sounds like a lot for a four month old kid? And lastly I pointed out that she can nurse her kiddo at daycare at pickup time (if it's closing time she can nurse in the car) and that might save a whole bottle depending on how they were scheduling things. So what if you're home twenty minutes later? Hubby can start dinner.
So as disclaimed before, I am not a lactation consultant, pediatrician, or any other sort of expert, I'm just a mama like you sharing some ideas that worked for me. So don't sue me. Besides I have almost no money so suing me is a waste of your time. I spent it all on cord blood banking and moving to Oregon. And it was worth every penny.
Did you encounter a demand-based freakout? Did you find any tricks you want to share? Drop me a comment and let me know!
Be well and happy boobjuicing!
Love,
Suzi
PS - Acupuncture doctor totally floored that I'm still nursing. He was positive about it but just couldn't seem to get his head around it. Tee hee!
Okay I totally promise I am going to continue on the travel thread. But one, I have done a crap job of getting to my friend mamas to ask if I can use their stories, and two, I have such a pressing topic I just have to share it: The Nine Month Freakout.
So of course it could be the eight month freakout or the ten month freakout. And while I think this might happen for mamas who are with their kiddos all day, I am referring in particular to the problem of Keeping Up With Demand Via Pumping. Somewhere around nine months, I seemed to have gotten it in my head that since Kiddo was eating more and more solid food, he would start needing less boobjuice. Incorrect. In fact, his caloric need seemed to be going up just exactly along the lines of his solid food intake, so the boobjuice demand was totally unchanged. Because I had gotten it in my head that I was going to be able to pump less, or at least have less trouble keeping up with him, this turned into a freakout. Sometimes Hubby would run out of boobjuice while I was at work, or have to give "scant" bottles (more on this below) in order to stretch it out. Finally it ended up with some very unscheduled days off and a panicked call to the lactation consultant.
The LC made a couple of excellent points. One, Kiddo was on solids now. If he had one more meal of solids during the days that I was off winning the bread, so what? He was getting plenty of nutrition, plenty of boobjuice, and an extra half an avocado in the afternoons was NOT a crisis. Two, I was producing plenty of milk. (Recall from earlier posts my adventures in fenugreek? Not only did the stuff totally not work on me and make me poop my pj's (ew), it was completely unnecessary. As were the disastrous adventures in barley water. Closest I had come to barfing since the first trimester.) Here "plenty" means he had several bottles during the day, he never complained about supply when he was nursing unless I had *just* pumped, and even in that latter case I still managed to get some good stuff into him. In terms of numbers, I think I was getting 4 or 5 ounces when I pumped first thing in the morning if I was lucky and he had slept through the night, and less otherwise. Then during the work day it varied but I think eight was average. You can do the math here and see that I was not producing enough on a work day to supply a whole work day. Hence, pumping on weekend mornings. Yes, it was a pain in the ass, and yes, it was worth it. I also worked from home on Wednesdays at this point which really helped.
I came up with a couple other ideas myself. At this point we all have it in our heads that we give boobjuice first and solids are like dessert. Which is totally correct when we are 4-6 months along and experimenting with rice cereal. But once Kiddo can eat all sorts of stuff, and digest it well, I think there is no reason you can't have the person wrangling your kiddo while you are at work give solids *first* for most meals. This means Kiddo should be more full and need less boobjuice, at least for a couple of sittings. This will help stretch the supply during the day. Caveat: if your pediatrician or LC says differently of course that trumps my suggestions. But it never hurts to ask for a second opinion if what they are saying isn't working for you.
Lastly I want to point out something that actually smacked us upside the head earlier than nine months but came up in discussion last week. My dear colleague Mama CC has just encountered the Nine Month Freakout, and we had a heartfelt conversation in the hallway a week or so ago. It felt so good to be helpful to another mama! She is struggling to keep up with the amount of breastmilk that the daycare workers are giving her kiddo, and it had her in a panic. It turned out that the well-meaning Kiddo Caregivers were giving her little girl seven or eight ounces of breastmilk at a time. This is simply not necessary or productive. (The anti-pumping sorts will now go into the requisite rant about how bottle feeding is unnatural, it messes with Kiddo's demand signals, blah, blah. Tell them to start paying our rent and we'll think about it.)
I suggested instructing the day care folks to give solid foods first, give no more than five ounces of boobjuice in a bottle, and if she's still hungry try more solids after the bottle. This can be tricky (who wants avocado after yummy yummy boobjuice?) and who knows, the magic number might be six ounces, but the wildly large bottles Mama CC's kiddo was getting were a function of the glass bottles we anti-plastic mamas like to use (which come in four ounce and eight ounce, and if any of those manufacturers are listening PLEASE start making a five or six ounce one!!! ack!!!), and a new kid at the daycare who is being formula fed and gets seven our eight ounces at a time. This had both Mama CC and me wondering how that little one is not (a) puking more, or (b) obese yet, but as cited in earlier posts, it's none of our business. But really, seven ounces of anything sounds like a lot for a four month old kid? And lastly I pointed out that she can nurse her kiddo at daycare at pickup time (if it's closing time she can nurse in the car) and that might save a whole bottle depending on how they were scheduling things. So what if you're home twenty minutes later? Hubby can start dinner.
So as disclaimed before, I am not a lactation consultant, pediatrician, or any other sort of expert, I'm just a mama like you sharing some ideas that worked for me. So don't sue me. Besides I have almost no money so suing me is a waste of your time. I spent it all on cord blood banking and moving to Oregon. And it was worth every penny.
Did you encounter a demand-based freakout? Did you find any tricks you want to share? Drop me a comment and let me know!
Be well and happy boobjuicing!
Love,
Suzi
PS - Acupuncture doctor totally floored that I'm still nursing. He was positive about it but just couldn't seem to get his head around it. Tee hee!
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Boob Juice on the Go!
Hello Dear Boobjuicers and Friends!
Ah, yes, the long-awaited (by me anyway) travel post! So this will have to be more than one post, because I asked some mamas for their travel stories, and got so much good info that it's going to be too long, even by my gregarious standards, to put all into one post. So I shall begin with my own traveling and boobjuicing experience, while I am seeking permission to use their amazing stories.
I want to begin with a quick disclaimer. Please do not think that you have to be as elaborate and convoluted as I have chosen to be in order to keep breastfeeding while traveling for work. Most of the other mamas I have talked to have done much more sensible things, like bringing the breastpump along and transporting the milk home or FedExing it if need be. I always had sort of barely enough milk in the fridge for Kiddo for the day, and was worried about supply, and so completely against formula for my kiddo, that these were the right choices for me. While the amount of dollars we have dedicated to traveling this way is manageable for us, it did mean making sacrifices in other ways (we had to turn down a wedding invitation recently because the extra trip just wasn't going to work) and frankly a financial planner would probably do some serious facepalm looking at my mint.com account. We made the choices that felt right to us. Or shall I say, we made the choices I felt like I could tolerate and my sweet, patient husband didn't argue. But there are more practical and less expensive ways to do it.
That said, I think a lot of mamas feel self conscious about making choices like mine, which may look wasteful and impractical, but which were important for us. Sometimes we just aren't ready to be away from our kiddos for a whole night, or longer. Well, I say that's okay. I say you can be a fancy (insert chosen profession involving travel here) in your fancy suit/uniform/lab coat, AND be a breastfeeding mama who isn't willing to be away from her little one yet. I'm no big Sarah Palin fan but I will say that I liked her willingness to schlep her kids with her on trips. I say you can do it as long as your family and pocketbook will put up with it. AND I say you can actually make it fairly easy on your pocket book. I mean, who doesn't have a facebook friend or six in most major cities these days? I bet some of them would help you with housing/childcare/transportation. You would do it for them, right?
So, for example, I took Kiddo with me on a three day business trip after he was already down to nursing like twice a day. I was worried about my supply, but even more I was worried that if he went that long without nursing he would wean. (Unfortunately I have no useful data on this - ladies?) But in each case of elaborate, hauling the kid and often husband along business trips, we have made it work. In the three days with just me and Kiddo case, Hubby used the time "off" to shoot the rest of a music video. The awesomest friends in Minnesota took turns looking after Kiddo for me during my meetings, and a very nice flight attendant watched him on the flight home for three minutes so I could go pee without rousing him from his slumber. Perhaps the most pleasant passenger request of her evening, "Here, watch this kid sleep while your colleagues are cleaning the galley," but certainly very appreciated by me anyway.
The other trips so far were multi-purpose, including reunion, family visits, etc. that would have involved the whole family anyway. So one could argue that I didn't add cost to the business trip by hauling the family along. Although I have learned a difficult lesson about business travel with family - it is HARD. In the line of work I'm in, and probably a lot of other lines of work too, I think I really need the time after the "end of the day" until bed time to write up the meetings I took. I'm still trying to catch up from that trip, which is super frustrating. I have one more combo wedding and business trip after that, and then I'm sort of hoping to avoid traveling until Kiddo has turned two (February) and I'm a little more willing to risk him weaning by taking a night or two away from him.
I sort of thought last night might be the end of it actually - he wasn't very interested at bed time, so we sat and looked at the rain for a bit (ahhh, I love my soggy little boobjuice friendly town) and then he was more interested. Surprisingly, I actually felt a bit more happy than upset at the thought that he might be saying, "Nah, thanks Mom, I'm done." Besides which we are thinking about getting that second bun a-baking soon (not quiiiiite yet though) and I think I will feel a little better if Kiddo weans himself than if I have to cut him off because my breasts hurt too much. Not that there is anything wrong with that decision of course. Just seems like setting the stage for sibling rivalry... paranoid much? Who, me?
One other note on my own travel experiences. We all seem to be worried about being That Mom on the plane, with the kid who cries the whole way and all the other eyeballs present trying to bore holes in our heads. Well, I have news for you. You will very likely have to take a turn being That Mom. Poor Kiddo had a really rough flight once (he has already been on, like, six, I'm sort of shocked to say) and I was doing all I could for him but it wasn't cutting it. I think the eyeballs boring the hottest holes in my head were my own, though, remembering being That Passenger who was soooo put out (chuckle) by the noisy baby and sat judging the parents from afar. The only looks or comments I received were sympathetic, or mercifully brief. And really, think about it - what kind of karma is that person earning for him or herself, sitting quietly with no demands being placed on them by a tiny, very uncomfortable person, passing judgement on some poor tired mama doing the best she can? They suck. You rock. You can tell them I said so.
Happy Boobjuicing all!
Much love,
Suzi
Ah, yes, the long-awaited (by me anyway) travel post! So this will have to be more than one post, because I asked some mamas for their travel stories, and got so much good info that it's going to be too long, even by my gregarious standards, to put all into one post. So I shall begin with my own traveling and boobjuicing experience, while I am seeking permission to use their amazing stories.
I want to begin with a quick disclaimer. Please do not think that you have to be as elaborate and convoluted as I have chosen to be in order to keep breastfeeding while traveling for work. Most of the other mamas I have talked to have done much more sensible things, like bringing the breastpump along and transporting the milk home or FedExing it if need be. I always had sort of barely enough milk in the fridge for Kiddo for the day, and was worried about supply, and so completely against formula for my kiddo, that these were the right choices for me. While the amount of dollars we have dedicated to traveling this way is manageable for us, it did mean making sacrifices in other ways (we had to turn down a wedding invitation recently because the extra trip just wasn't going to work) and frankly a financial planner would probably do some serious facepalm looking at my mint.com account. We made the choices that felt right to us. Or shall I say, we made the choices I felt like I could tolerate and my sweet, patient husband didn't argue. But there are more practical and less expensive ways to do it.
That said, I think a lot of mamas feel self conscious about making choices like mine, which may look wasteful and impractical, but which were important for us. Sometimes we just aren't ready to be away from our kiddos for a whole night, or longer. Well, I say that's okay. I say you can be a fancy (insert chosen profession involving travel here) in your fancy suit/uniform/lab coat, AND be a breastfeeding mama who isn't willing to be away from her little one yet. I'm no big Sarah Palin fan but I will say that I liked her willingness to schlep her kids with her on trips. I say you can do it as long as your family and pocketbook will put up with it. AND I say you can actually make it fairly easy on your pocket book. I mean, who doesn't have a facebook friend or six in most major cities these days? I bet some of them would help you with housing/childcare/transportation. You would do it for them, right?
So, for example, I took Kiddo with me on a three day business trip after he was already down to nursing like twice a day. I was worried about my supply, but even more I was worried that if he went that long without nursing he would wean. (Unfortunately I have no useful data on this - ladies?) But in each case of elaborate, hauling the kid and often husband along business trips, we have made it work. In the three days with just me and Kiddo case, Hubby used the time "off" to shoot the rest of a music video. The awesomest friends in Minnesota took turns looking after Kiddo for me during my meetings, and a very nice flight attendant watched him on the flight home for three minutes so I could go pee without rousing him from his slumber. Perhaps the most pleasant passenger request of her evening, "Here, watch this kid sleep while your colleagues are cleaning the galley," but certainly very appreciated by me anyway.
The other trips so far were multi-purpose, including reunion, family visits, etc. that would have involved the whole family anyway. So one could argue that I didn't add cost to the business trip by hauling the family along. Although I have learned a difficult lesson about business travel with family - it is HARD. In the line of work I'm in, and probably a lot of other lines of work too, I think I really need the time after the "end of the day" until bed time to write up the meetings I took. I'm still trying to catch up from that trip, which is super frustrating. I have one more combo wedding and business trip after that, and then I'm sort of hoping to avoid traveling until Kiddo has turned two (February) and I'm a little more willing to risk him weaning by taking a night or two away from him.
I sort of thought last night might be the end of it actually - he wasn't very interested at bed time, so we sat and looked at the rain for a bit (ahhh, I love my soggy little boobjuice friendly town) and then he was more interested. Surprisingly, I actually felt a bit more happy than upset at the thought that he might be saying, "Nah, thanks Mom, I'm done." Besides which we are thinking about getting that second bun a-baking soon (not quiiiiite yet though) and I think I will feel a little better if Kiddo weans himself than if I have to cut him off because my breasts hurt too much. Not that there is anything wrong with that decision of course. Just seems like setting the stage for sibling rivalry... paranoid much? Who, me?
One other note on my own travel experiences. We all seem to be worried about being That Mom on the plane, with the kid who cries the whole way and all the other eyeballs present trying to bore holes in our heads. Well, I have news for you. You will very likely have to take a turn being That Mom. Poor Kiddo had a really rough flight once (he has already been on, like, six, I'm sort of shocked to say) and I was doing all I could for him but it wasn't cutting it. I think the eyeballs boring the hottest holes in my head were my own, though, remembering being That Passenger who was soooo put out (chuckle) by the noisy baby and sat judging the parents from afar. The only looks or comments I received were sympathetic, or mercifully brief. And really, think about it - what kind of karma is that person earning for him or herself, sitting quietly with no demands being placed on them by a tiny, very uncomfortable person, passing judgement on some poor tired mama doing the best she can? They suck. You rock. You can tell them I said so.
Happy Boobjuicing all!
Much love,
Suzi
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
I Will Be Brave If You Will Be Patient
Hello Dear Boobjuicers and Friends!
So I am working on a positively epic traveling post, which may be a brief series, but first I must post this confession. Which I am typing from humid, sunny, humid, busy, humid, interesting, humid Arlington, VA. Did I mention it's humid?
A mama posted a reaction to my rant post which gave me a moment of pause. She wrote something to the effect that she would hope that I would never judge a formula feeding mom. My knee jerk reflex was "of course not," but if I'm honest, it's more complex than that. First of all, and I think this is fairly common, but I find every day is an opportunity to learn not to judge. Especially of parenting. And I know from what I see in the world around me that I am not alone in this, on many different subjects - parenting, sexuality, religion, politics, fashion. (But really, mamas, the skinny jean is almost always a mistake!)
So there are a few things going on in my emotional response to formula feeding. One, I soooo love breastfeeding my kiddo, even despite the stress of pumping at work and the pain of learning how to do it and fighting thrush for ten effing months, that the thought of not having that relationship gives me an actual pang. So every formula encounter is a pang. Clearly I am too sensitive but that is hard wired (I asked a lot of mental health professionals and sensitivity is not learned, it's biological) and hence the pangs.
Second, I feel defensive about breastfeeding. Lots of people have been great, of course, but lots of people (and too many who are close to us and should at the very least be respectful enough to keep their freaking mouths shut) have made rude, judgmental comments. "That's crazy," comes to mind. So I think there's some part of me that wants to lash back. "No, feeding your kid rocket fuel is crazy." Which again is an unfair generalization. But judging back is an understandable, if perhaps ungracious, response. Which, again, I am trying to learn not to do.
Lastly, and this is a toughie, I feel bad for the kid. We know that breastfeeding is best for baby. Even the formula companies have fessed up that it's best in the first six months, and the medical community and major children's health organizations advocate at least a year, preferably two. It's hard sometimes in the face of all that evidence to wonder what is motivating the decision on the part of the moms who are choosing formula.
But therein lies the point. I don't know what is motivating that decision.
We have kind of crap maternity leave laws in this country, particularly in hourly labor forces but even doctors and teachers really struggle with getting support from their employers for gradual return to work, pumping breaks, etc. Even if it's on the books, try being the only nursing mom doc working in the emergency room. That's tough. And where there aren't a lot of moms or even women on the team, there may be (sometimes unconscious) pressure - if you go pump, you're more interested in being a mom than a (vocation). (Actually women who aren't parents are sometimes even harder than men to get to support the needs of a nursing mom, I have heard from other mamas. I'm sure speculating about that could be a whole other post.)
Nursing is hard to learn, and we don't have the tribal knowledge that we once did (here the tribe is mommies, not an ethnic group) to support the first days of nursing to make it easier. Pumping is a pain in the ass, as I have said before (and yes it is worth it). It's hard to go from a modern American lifestyle to having a mewling infant clinging to your boobs all day - I used to treasure a quick jaunt to the grocery store just to have 15 minutes where no one would touch me. And this from a total lactivist.
Maybe the family, pediatrician, or dad/co-parent isn't as dedicated and supportive. My hubby and I worked out a system where for the night feedings he would get up first, change Kiddo, and bring Kiddo to me, so I could stay in bed or go pee while they were getting ready. Not all dads are that supportive, or frankly can afford the sleep deprivation - not sure I want, say, a taxi driver running around as sleep deprived as my hubby, who is a stay-at-home dad and just had to be awake enough not to drop the kid in those early months.
And of course I've left out the really obvious ones like Mama has a disease that could be communicated via breastfeeding, or has advanced diabetes.
So this is what I try to tell myself when I feel that pang and internal scowl. It's none of my business, I don't know what's driving that decision, and breastfeeding is not the only way to be a good mom.
I will say this, though. We do a fairly crappy job of supporting breastfeeding in this country, especially considering our relative wealth. We need to make it possible to nurse or pump comfortably on demand anywhere in the country, and not in nasty train bathrooms or dusty corners of airports. We need to teach breastfeeding with the same passion and pervasiveness as the "Back to Sleep" campaign. We need to make sure all breadwinning mamas have the resources they need to pump at work without sacrificing income or career growth. And we need to get formula sales reps out of hospitals. Like, now. Nurses don't need sales reps to help moms choose a brand of formula.
This is particularly true in less affluent segments of the population and in communities of color. The former would benefit the most from the cost savings associated with "home grown" baby food and the associated reduction in medical costs, and the latter are in my opinion being shockingly underserved by the supposedly most advanced medical system in the world.
I firmly believe when we accomplish these goals we will get a lot more moms breastfeeding a lot longer, and accordingly an improvement in child health and long-term medical cost savings.
So I will focus my energy and attention on my lactivism instead of what is none of my business. I will continue to challenge my knee-jerk reactions and the judgments that pop into my head. And I think for right now that is probably the best I can do.
Pensively yours,
Suzi
So I am working on a positively epic traveling post, which may be a brief series, but first I must post this confession. Which I am typing from humid, sunny, humid, busy, humid, interesting, humid Arlington, VA. Did I mention it's humid?
A mama posted a reaction to my rant post which gave me a moment of pause. She wrote something to the effect that she would hope that I would never judge a formula feeding mom. My knee jerk reflex was "of course not," but if I'm honest, it's more complex than that. First of all, and I think this is fairly common, but I find every day is an opportunity to learn not to judge. Especially of parenting. And I know from what I see in the world around me that I am not alone in this, on many different subjects - parenting, sexuality, religion, politics, fashion. (But really, mamas, the skinny jean is almost always a mistake!)
So there are a few things going on in my emotional response to formula feeding. One, I soooo love breastfeeding my kiddo, even despite the stress of pumping at work and the pain of learning how to do it and fighting thrush for ten effing months, that the thought of not having that relationship gives me an actual pang. So every formula encounter is a pang. Clearly I am too sensitive but that is hard wired (I asked a lot of mental health professionals and sensitivity is not learned, it's biological) and hence the pangs.
Second, I feel defensive about breastfeeding. Lots of people have been great, of course, but lots of people (and too many who are close to us and should at the very least be respectful enough to keep their freaking mouths shut) have made rude, judgmental comments. "That's crazy," comes to mind. So I think there's some part of me that wants to lash back. "No, feeding your kid rocket fuel is crazy." Which again is an unfair generalization. But judging back is an understandable, if perhaps ungracious, response. Which, again, I am trying to learn not to do.
Lastly, and this is a toughie, I feel bad for the kid. We know that breastfeeding is best for baby. Even the formula companies have fessed up that it's best in the first six months, and the medical community and major children's health organizations advocate at least a year, preferably two. It's hard sometimes in the face of all that evidence to wonder what is motivating the decision on the part of the moms who are choosing formula.
But therein lies the point. I don't know what is motivating that decision.
We have kind of crap maternity leave laws in this country, particularly in hourly labor forces but even doctors and teachers really struggle with getting support from their employers for gradual return to work, pumping breaks, etc. Even if it's on the books, try being the only nursing mom doc working in the emergency room. That's tough. And where there aren't a lot of moms or even women on the team, there may be (sometimes unconscious) pressure - if you go pump, you're more interested in being a mom than a (vocation). (Actually women who aren't parents are sometimes even harder than men to get to support the needs of a nursing mom, I have heard from other mamas. I'm sure speculating about that could be a whole other post.)
Nursing is hard to learn, and we don't have the tribal knowledge that we once did (here the tribe is mommies, not an ethnic group) to support the first days of nursing to make it easier. Pumping is a pain in the ass, as I have said before (and yes it is worth it). It's hard to go from a modern American lifestyle to having a mewling infant clinging to your boobs all day - I used to treasure a quick jaunt to the grocery store just to have 15 minutes where no one would touch me. And this from a total lactivist.
Maybe the family, pediatrician, or dad/co-parent isn't as dedicated and supportive. My hubby and I worked out a system where for the night feedings he would get up first, change Kiddo, and bring Kiddo to me, so I could stay in bed or go pee while they were getting ready. Not all dads are that supportive, or frankly can afford the sleep deprivation - not sure I want, say, a taxi driver running around as sleep deprived as my hubby, who is a stay-at-home dad and just had to be awake enough not to drop the kid in those early months.
And of course I've left out the really obvious ones like Mama has a disease that could be communicated via breastfeeding, or has advanced diabetes.
So this is what I try to tell myself when I feel that pang and internal scowl. It's none of my business, I don't know what's driving that decision, and breastfeeding is not the only way to be a good mom.
I will say this, though. We do a fairly crappy job of supporting breastfeeding in this country, especially considering our relative wealth. We need to make it possible to nurse or pump comfortably on demand anywhere in the country, and not in nasty train bathrooms or dusty corners of airports. We need to teach breastfeeding with the same passion and pervasiveness as the "Back to Sleep" campaign. We need to make sure all breadwinning mamas have the resources they need to pump at work without sacrificing income or career growth. And we need to get formula sales reps out of hospitals. Like, now. Nurses don't need sales reps to help moms choose a brand of formula.
This is particularly true in less affluent segments of the population and in communities of color. The former would benefit the most from the cost savings associated with "home grown" baby food and the associated reduction in medical costs, and the latter are in my opinion being shockingly underserved by the supposedly most advanced medical system in the world.
I firmly believe when we accomplish these goals we will get a lot more moms breastfeeding a lot longer, and accordingly an improvement in child health and long-term medical cost savings.
So I will focus my energy and attention on my lactivism instead of what is none of my business. I will continue to challenge my knee-jerk reactions and the judgments that pop into my head. And I think for right now that is probably the best I can do.
Pensively yours,
Suzi
Monday, August 23, 2010
"Extended" Breastfeeding
Hello Dear Boobjuicers and Friends!
Okay, I've tried to keep this blog positive and non-judgemental, and I will try again, but right now I'm pissed off and need a good, sarcastic rant.
I've just about had it with rude, ignorant comments about "extended" breastfeeding. Which - news flash- isn't really extended, at 18 months, it's just not cut off quite as early as most moms in this country. And besides which, wouldn't have been made if I hadn't patiently answered several intrusive, judgmental questions from (mostly non-parents, but one pediatrician who also has kids) people who need to go get their own house in order before peering into mine. So here's a quick primer for the ignorant - please feel free to print it out and hand it to those out of the loop (resisting diligently the temptation to make a snarky comment about who will receive said printouts).
1.) "Extended" breastfeeding does not equal mom goes into kindergarden class and whips shirt off.
2.) The average age of weaning globally is way older than 18 months. A quick Google search turned up 4.5 years. Which means that, given how averages work, at least some kids weaned later than that.
3.) This does not mean I'm going to record a youtube video when my kid is seven if I'm still nursing at that point (which given how much travel there is in my job, I won't be. I'm thinking age two, people. Maybe three.)
3.a.) It's pretty easy to not record yourself breastfeeding and put it up on youtube. I've done it every day for eighteen months.
4.) "Extended" breastfeeding is not weird. Feeding corn syrup solids to a baby is weird. Necessary sometimes perhaps, but weird.
5.) "What will his friends think" is not an adequate reason to change my parenting choices. That's a great way to raise a spineless sheep who can't think for himself and does only what is pre-approved by the masses. Ugh, scary.
5.a.) Given items 1 and 3a, how the heck are his friends going to know, anyway? Does some evil faction bent on embarrassing my son have a secret video feed into my kid's bedroom which they're going to replay at his nursery school? I'm thinking no.
5.b.) And besides which, breastfeeding is nothing to be embarrassed about. The shocking waste of a natural, God-given gift for creating health and bonding in infants by the richest country in the world is something to be embarrassed about.
6.) If all that isn't enough for you, maybe grief over your own childhood or parenting choices is what's doing the talking here, rather than a carefully considered opinion. Either way, if you can't handle it, get your damn closed circuit nannycam out of my nursery, get a hobby, and leave me alone.
And last, but not least, I would like to officially apologize for any ignorant comment I ever made about anyone's parenting choices before I had kids of my own. Or since, for that matter. Including formula feeding. I shall redouble my efforts to lead by example, not judgement. And now I shall get ready for work.
Nice Suzi back next time, promise.
Much love,
Suzi
Okay, I've tried to keep this blog positive and non-judgemental, and I will try again, but right now I'm pissed off and need a good, sarcastic rant.
I've just about had it with rude, ignorant comments about "extended" breastfeeding. Which - news flash- isn't really extended, at 18 months, it's just not cut off quite as early as most moms in this country. And besides which, wouldn't have been made if I hadn't patiently answered several intrusive, judgmental questions from (mostly non-parents, but one pediatrician who also has kids) people who need to go get their own house in order before peering into mine. So here's a quick primer for the ignorant - please feel free to print it out and hand it to those out of the loop (resisting diligently the temptation to make a snarky comment about who will receive said printouts).
1.) "Extended" breastfeeding does not equal mom goes into kindergarden class and whips shirt off.
2.) The average age of weaning globally is way older than 18 months. A quick Google search turned up 4.5 years. Which means that, given how averages work, at least some kids weaned later than that.
3.) This does not mean I'm going to record a youtube video when my kid is seven if I'm still nursing at that point (which given how much travel there is in my job, I won't be. I'm thinking age two, people. Maybe three.)
3.a.) It's pretty easy to not record yourself breastfeeding and put it up on youtube. I've done it every day for eighteen months.
4.) "Extended" breastfeeding is not weird. Feeding corn syrup solids to a baby is weird. Necessary sometimes perhaps, but weird.
5.) "What will his friends think" is not an adequate reason to change my parenting choices. That's a great way to raise a spineless sheep who can't think for himself and does only what is pre-approved by the masses. Ugh, scary.
5.a.) Given items 1 and 3a, how the heck are his friends going to know, anyway? Does some evil faction bent on embarrassing my son have a secret video feed into my kid's bedroom which they're going to replay at his nursery school? I'm thinking no.
5.b.) And besides which, breastfeeding is nothing to be embarrassed about. The shocking waste of a natural, God-given gift for creating health and bonding in infants by the richest country in the world is something to be embarrassed about.
6.) If all that isn't enough for you, maybe grief over your own childhood or parenting choices is what's doing the talking here, rather than a carefully considered opinion. Either way, if you can't handle it, get your damn closed circuit nannycam out of my nursery, get a hobby, and leave me alone.
And last, but not least, I would like to officially apologize for any ignorant comment I ever made about anyone's parenting choices before I had kids of my own. Or since, for that matter. Including formula feeding. I shall redouble my efforts to lead by example, not judgement. And now I shall get ready for work.
Nice Suzi back next time, promise.
Much love,
Suzi
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Don't Mess With the Stash, Man!
Hello Dear Boobjuicers and Friends!
So, Mama C.C. told me an absolute horror story recently... her husband unplugged the freezer.
Why would anyone do that? There was some reason, she related it to me, but I was so horrified by the idea of losing the stash of breastmilk that was always barely big enough for the work week ahead that I didn't hear it. That event worked out okay, but then there was another freezer-related situation which resulted in a portion of her stash thawing. On like a Saturday morning. AAAAIIIIEEEE! So she fed her kiddo the thawed milk for the next 24 hours and had to spend a weekend pumping instead of getting a nice, cuddly break from the breadwinning week routine. Ugh. Poor Mama C.C.!
Things like this always had me in abject terror when my little guy was on just boobjuice or mostly boobjuice, and I was making the donuts 45 minutes away (on a lucky traffic day) from him. In retrospect, really it wasn't so scary - I mean, I'm not a surgeon or some vocation that you really can't leave on a moment's notice, and babies don't starve to death in 45 minutes. But it felt like that, and that made the whole thing just so much more wrought with anxiety. It's almost like there's some awful screechy violin music playing in the back of your head the whole time you're at your day job, and you can't hear through it to the practical solution behind the potential crisis.
Someone called me once to discuss the storage at work situation. My routine was to use the classy little black cooler bag Medela provides in the Pump-in-style kit to transport the bags to and from my office. I would put the freezer pack in the freezer when I got in each morning, and return the black cooler bag to the fridge after each session. This prevented having to walk through the office with a little bag of breastmilk, which might have weirded out some clients (phooey on them if they're weirded out, but since they're clients, we go for the more discreet option, eh?) I also had a fabric grocery bag which I would use to transport the pump parts to and from the sink for washing, but for the next kiddo (no I'm not pregnant) I'm going to do what Mama C.C. suggested and have enough sets of pump parts so I don't have to wash during the day.
What tips and tricks do you mamas have to share? Leave me a comment so we can all benefit from your boobjuice wisdom.
Lastly, if you are one of those very blessed high-production mamas, do NOT let your extra milk sit in the freezer and expire - donate!!! There are lots of ways to donate breastmilk - locally or even internationally. Here is a nifty map of milk banking organizations in North America. And here is a trailer for a movie about donating breastmilk to save premature babies, which will totally make you cry.
You could save a tiny life! What an amazing gift to give.
Happy boobjuicing!
Much Love,
Suzi
So, Mama C.C. told me an absolute horror story recently... her husband unplugged the freezer.
Why would anyone do that? There was some reason, she related it to me, but I was so horrified by the idea of losing the stash of breastmilk that was always barely big enough for the work week ahead that I didn't hear it. That event worked out okay, but then there was another freezer-related situation which resulted in a portion of her stash thawing. On like a Saturday morning. AAAAIIIIEEEE! So she fed her kiddo the thawed milk for the next 24 hours and had to spend a weekend pumping instead of getting a nice, cuddly break from the breadwinning week routine. Ugh. Poor Mama C.C.!
Things like this always had me in abject terror when my little guy was on just boobjuice or mostly boobjuice, and I was making the donuts 45 minutes away (on a lucky traffic day) from him. In retrospect, really it wasn't so scary - I mean, I'm not a surgeon or some vocation that you really can't leave on a moment's notice, and babies don't starve to death in 45 minutes. But it felt like that, and that made the whole thing just so much more wrought with anxiety. It's almost like there's some awful screechy violin music playing in the back of your head the whole time you're at your day job, and you can't hear through it to the practical solution behind the potential crisis.
Someone called me once to discuss the storage at work situation. My routine was to use the classy little black cooler bag Medela provides in the Pump-in-style kit to transport the bags to and from my office. I would put the freezer pack in the freezer when I got in each morning, and return the black cooler bag to the fridge after each session. This prevented having to walk through the office with a little bag of breastmilk, which might have weirded out some clients (phooey on them if they're weirded out, but since they're clients, we go for the more discreet option, eh?) I also had a fabric grocery bag which I would use to transport the pump parts to and from the sink for washing, but for the next kiddo (no I'm not pregnant) I'm going to do what Mama C.C. suggested and have enough sets of pump parts so I don't have to wash during the day.
What tips and tricks do you mamas have to share? Leave me a comment so we can all benefit from your boobjuice wisdom.
Lastly, if you are one of those very blessed high-production mamas, do NOT let your extra milk sit in the freezer and expire - donate!!! There are lots of ways to donate breastmilk - locally or even internationally. Here is a nifty map of milk banking organizations in North America. And here is a trailer for a movie about donating breastmilk to save premature babies, which will totally make you cry.
You could save a tiny life! What an amazing gift to give.
Happy boobjuicing!
Much Love,
Suzi
Monday, August 16, 2010
Hey! Look what Congress Did!
Good news, Dear Boobjuicers and Friends!
Did you know that federal law now requires pumping breaks? Below are the relevant paragraphs of a 900+ page bill which passed in April, most of which has nothing to do with this (for full document, see: http://frwebgate.access.gpo.gov/cgi-bin/getdoc.cgi?dbname=111_cong_public_laws&docid=f:publ148.111.pdf):
(Emphasis added)
SEC. 4207. REASONABLE BREAK TIME FOR NURSING MOTHERS.
Section 7 of the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938 (29 U.S.C.
207) is amended by adding at the end the following:
‘‘(r)(1) An employer shall provide—
‘‘(A) a reasonable break time for an employee to express
breast milk for her nursing child for 1 year after the child’s
birth each time such employee has need to express the milk;
and
‘‘(B) a place, other than a bathroom, that is shielded from
view and free from intrusion from coworkers and the public,
which may be used by an employee to express breast milk.
‘‘(2) An employer shall not be required to compensate an
employee receiving reasonable break time under paragraph (1) for
any work time spent for such purpose.
‘‘(3) An employer that employs less than 50 employees shall
not be subject to the requirements of this subsection, if such requirements
would impose an undue hardship by causing the employer
significant difficulty or expense when considered in relation to
the size, financial resources, nature, or structure of the employer’s
business.
VerDate Nov 24 2008 22:43 May 14, 2010 Jkt 089139 PO 00148 Frm 00459 Fmt 6580 Sfmt 6581 E:\PUBLAW\PUBL148.111 PUBL148 dkrause on GSDDPC29PROD with PUBLIC LAWS
‘‘(4) Nothing in this subsection shall preempt a State law that
provides greater protections to employees than the protections provided
for under this subsection.’’.
This is a great country and if we keep working at it, soon it will be a much more boobjuice-friendly country. This is a step in the right direction. Hurray!
Much Love,
Suzi
Did you know that federal law now requires pumping breaks? Below are the relevant paragraphs of a 900+ page bill which passed in April, most of which has nothing to do with this (for full document, see: http://frwebgate.access.gpo.gov/cgi-bin/getdoc.cgi?dbname=111_cong_public_laws&docid=f:publ148.111.pdf):
(Emphasis added)
SEC. 4207. REASONABLE BREAK TIME FOR NURSING MOTHERS.
Section 7 of the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938 (29 U.S.C.
207) is amended by adding at the end the following:
‘‘(r)(1) An employer shall provide—
‘‘(A) a reasonable break time for an employee to express
breast milk for her nursing child for 1 year after the child’s
birth each time such employee has need to express the milk;
and
‘‘(B) a place, other than a bathroom, that is shielded from
view and free from intrusion from coworkers and the public,
which may be used by an employee to express breast milk.
‘‘(2) An employer shall not be required to compensate an
employee receiving reasonable break time under paragraph (1) for
any work time spent for such purpose.
‘‘(3) An employer that employs less than 50 employees shall
not be subject to the requirements of this subsection, if such requirements
would impose an undue hardship by causing the employer
significant difficulty or expense when considered in relation to
the size, financial resources, nature, or structure of the employer’s
business.
VerDate Nov 24 2008 22:43 May 14, 2010 Jkt 089139 PO 00148 Frm 00459 Fmt 6580 Sfmt 6581 E:\PUBLAW\PUBL148.111 PUBL148 dkrause on GSDDPC29PROD with PUBLIC LAWS
‘‘(4) Nothing in this subsection shall preempt a State law that
provides greater protections to employees than the protections provided
for under this subsection.’’.
This is a great country and if we keep working at it, soon it will be a much more boobjuice-friendly country. This is a step in the right direction. Hurray!
Much Love,
Suzi
A Real, Live Question for Suzi! Heading Back to "Work"
Hello Dear Boobjuicers and Friends!
Mama Lisa emailed me asking for tips as she is heading back to "work" soon after a blissful 6 month leave. My response is below, hopefully it will be of some help to another mama about to pick up her Bessie and head to the donut factory. Also, I put "work" in quotes because I gotta tell you, hanging out with a bunch of relatively quiet grownups who are usually all potty trained seemed pretty darn easy by comparison...
Reply to Mama Lisa:
I'm so glad you emailed, I hope I can be helpful. Going back part time is smart, and it will still feel like a lot. You can totally do it, I just tell you that because a lot of moms feel really overwhelmed and skip straight past "this must just be hard, I bet all moms feel like this," to "I'm doing this wrong, I can't do this, it will be this hard forever." So hopefully when you hit that point you will remember that we all felt that way when we started to try to swing breadwinning, brestpumping, and everything we were doing before the tyke showed up. You get more efficient at it and it is totally worth it.
So, that said, I think a couple thoughts are that it took me a while to figure out my pumping routine, and until I did, my productivity was kind of crap. My concentration was crap too, the first couple days, freaking out about leaving Kiddo for the day, what if they ran out of milk, etc. Which alludes to my next point, below, but the ongoing theme here is to be patient with yourself those first few days/weeks/whatever it takes and don't let the adjustment period scare you out of breadwinning or breastpumping. I was still learning new tricks even when Kiddo had hit a year and I was starting to move off pumping...
So next point, and since you are already pumping you are probably well on your way, but the more milk you can leave for Kiddo, the more relaxed you will be at work. Even though rationally I knew the little dude would not starve if he got one feeding an hour late, I was always freaked out about having enough milk in the fridge and freezer to make it through the day, which I often barely did. So if you can build up a hefty stash, great, and if you can't, don't worry, my little guy and I made it and we never had a big back supply.
Lastly, as much as you will want to skip pumping on your days off from breadwinning gig, and particularly if keeping ahead on the stash is tricky for you like it was for me, I really recommend pumping at least once on your days off. Especially if your kiddo sleeps a good stint at night and you can sneak out of bed before him in the morning and pump when you are super full, you will find it easier to keep ahead of him on supply. At some point he will have an appetite increase right on Tuesday morning, so your body won't get the signals until Friday (you may get lucky, maybe he'll always have appetite increases on Friday morning, but I sure wasn't that lucky), so you might find you have worked through a backlog you thought was a whole extra days supply or something. It happens... (And yes, there were weekend days I just couldn't bring myself to pump, and somehow Kiddo never went hungry, or not for long.)
Good luck, enjoy the return to work, and congrats on the little guy!!! You are right, we breastfeeding moms must take care of each other!
Much love,
Suzi
Mama Lisa emailed me asking for tips as she is heading back to "work" soon after a blissful 6 month leave. My response is below, hopefully it will be of some help to another mama about to pick up her Bessie and head to the donut factory. Also, I put "work" in quotes because I gotta tell you, hanging out with a bunch of relatively quiet grownups who are usually all potty trained seemed pretty darn easy by comparison...
Reply to Mama Lisa:
I'm so glad you emailed, I hope I can be helpful. Going back part time is smart, and it will still feel like a lot. You can totally do it, I just tell you that because a lot of moms feel really overwhelmed and skip straight past "this must just be hard, I bet all moms feel like this," to "I'm doing this wrong, I can't do this, it will be this hard forever." So hopefully when you hit that point you will remember that we all felt that way when we started to try to swing breadwinning, brestpumping, and everything we were doing before the tyke showed up. You get more efficient at it and it is totally worth it.
So, that said, I think a couple thoughts are that it took me a while to figure out my pumping routine, and until I did, my productivity was kind of crap. My concentration was crap too, the first couple days, freaking out about leaving Kiddo for the day, what if they ran out of milk, etc. Which alludes to my next point, below, but the ongoing theme here is to be patient with yourself those first few days/weeks/whatever it takes and don't let the adjustment period scare you out of breadwinning or breastpumping. I was still learning new tricks even when Kiddo had hit a year and I was starting to move off pumping...
So next point, and since you are already pumping you are probably well on your way, but the more milk you can leave for Kiddo, the more relaxed you will be at work. Even though rationally I knew the little dude would not starve if he got one feeding an hour late, I was always freaked out about having enough milk in the fridge and freezer to make it through the day, which I often barely did. So if you can build up a hefty stash, great, and if you can't, don't worry, my little guy and I made it and we never had a big back supply.
Lastly, as much as you will want to skip pumping on your days off from breadwinning gig, and particularly if keeping ahead on the stash is tricky for you like it was for me, I really recommend pumping at least once on your days off. Especially if your kiddo sleeps a good stint at night and you can sneak out of bed before him in the morning and pump when you are super full, you will find it easier to keep ahead of him on supply. At some point he will have an appetite increase right on Tuesday morning, so your body won't get the signals until Friday (you may get lucky, maybe he'll always have appetite increases on Friday morning, but I sure wasn't that lucky), so you might find you have worked through a backlog you thought was a whole extra days supply or something. It happens... (And yes, there were weekend days I just couldn't bring myself to pump, and somehow Kiddo never went hungry, or not for long.)
Good luck, enjoy the return to work, and congrats on the little guy!!! You are right, we breastfeeding moms must take care of each other!
Much love,
Suzi
Friday, August 6, 2010
Big Latch A Big Success!!!
Hello Dear Boobjuicers and Friends,
Well, the Big Latch on PDX was a roaring success! We went to Zenana Spa (which rocks, check it out), because my friend mama G.A. has thrush (see my earlier post on this serious pain in the boob) so hanging out in a chocolate shop would have been a bummer. Mama C.C. from work joined too! We all piled into the yoga studio at Zenana (did I mention that they rock? I believe I did.) and sat on bolsters, blankets, and the floor. I have never seen so many babies in one place in my whole life. Including in the maternity ward at the Catholic hospital where my father died. Which had lots of babies in it. Which made me feel better when my father died. Tangent much Suzi?
Right, so, latching. We got 56 mamas latched on at once - or maybe babies, I'm not sure how they counted the mamas latching two babies at once (wow!!!) - is that one mama latching, or two latches, one per twin/boob? In case the fire martial is reading, there were some in the lounge outside the yoga studio, too. It was still crazy though, and a little overwhelming. I got to make an announcement for this blog, and some mamas asked for my blogcard (which is cute and has flowers on it because my awesome artist husband helped me make them). Even more exciting, I was interviewed about nursing Kiddo and about my blog for KBOO Community Radio, by a beautiful mama with a completely adorable, six-week-old snugglebean in a sling, who miraculously seemed to sleep through the whole, noisy, beautiful event.
Surprisingly, Kiddo actually cooperated! It's not a time of day that he ordinarily would nurse, so I figured I'd be lucky to get him latched at all, but he stayed latched for maybe 20 seconds. Not bad! After the official latch on time, Zenana's mother talked about giving birth in 1969 and being the only mother on the ward who wanted to breastfeed. We have come a long, long way - and we have a long ways left to go to restore this important and beautiful part of motherhood to the "modern" world.
Later we played with yoga balls and learned some tough lessons on scarce resources and inter-toddler dynamics.
As a quick reminder, latctivism doesn't have to be this large and complicated. You make progress every time you nurse in public, support another mama, or share your stories of loving to nurse your little ones. Keep up the good work!
Much love,
Suzi
PS - check out the Big Latch website later to find out how many kiddos we got latched at once!
Well, the Big Latch on PDX was a roaring success! We went to Zenana Spa (which rocks, check it out), because my friend mama G.A. has thrush (see my earlier post on this serious pain in the boob) so hanging out in a chocolate shop would have been a bummer. Mama C.C. from work joined too! We all piled into the yoga studio at Zenana (did I mention that they rock? I believe I did.) and sat on bolsters, blankets, and the floor. I have never seen so many babies in one place in my whole life. Including in the maternity ward at the Catholic hospital where my father died. Which had lots of babies in it. Which made me feel better when my father died. Tangent much Suzi?
Right, so, latching. We got 56 mamas latched on at once - or maybe babies, I'm not sure how they counted the mamas latching two babies at once (wow!!!) - is that one mama latching, or two latches, one per twin/boob? In case the fire martial is reading, there were some in the lounge outside the yoga studio, too. It was still crazy though, and a little overwhelming. I got to make an announcement for this blog, and some mamas asked for my blogcard (which is cute and has flowers on it because my awesome artist husband helped me make them). Even more exciting, I was interviewed about nursing Kiddo and about my blog for KBOO Community Radio, by a beautiful mama with a completely adorable, six-week-old snugglebean in a sling, who miraculously seemed to sleep through the whole, noisy, beautiful event.
Surprisingly, Kiddo actually cooperated! It's not a time of day that he ordinarily would nurse, so I figured I'd be lucky to get him latched at all, but he stayed latched for maybe 20 seconds. Not bad! After the official latch on time, Zenana's mother talked about giving birth in 1969 and being the only mother on the ward who wanted to breastfeed. We have come a long, long way - and we have a long ways left to go to restore this important and beautiful part of motherhood to the "modern" world.
Later we played with yoga balls and learned some tough lessons on scarce resources and inter-toddler dynamics.
As a quick reminder, latctivism doesn't have to be this large and complicated. You make progress every time you nurse in public, support another mama, or share your stories of loving to nurse your little ones. Keep up the good work!
Much love,
Suzi
PS - check out the Big Latch website later to find out how many kiddos we got latched at once!
Sunday, August 1, 2010
BoobJuiceTown!
Hello dear boobjuicers and friends!
Portland has many nicknames. Stumptown is my favorite because it's cute somehow. If I liked beer, beervana would be a top hit. But I would like to humbly suggest an addition. Boobjuicetown! This is a great city for a nursing mama. I'm particularly excited at the moment because of the upcoming Big Latch On PDX. I got the day off at the gentle prompting of new boobjuicer and supermama G.A., and we will be (ahem) furthering the cause of education and empowerment of America's mamas and the welfare of their children. By hanging out in a chocolate shop. Heh. Is this a great town or is this a great town? Thought so.
I met the founder of Big Latch on PDX today, at the Babyfriendly Block Party, which was a nice event (free chat with a lactation consultant!) I gave her some cards for my blog and she said she would put them in the gift bags for the mamas! Yay! Only wish I had made more... ah well. And I met someone from Oregon Nursing Mothers' Counsel. Okay, so take a moment - there *is* an Oregon Nursing Mothers' Counsel. Awesome. Anyway, gave her a card too, and found out how to become a volunteer. Because that's what I need, another activity. But anyway, it's good to know in case I decide I need another outlet for my lactivism. Which I might - poor marketing guy from one of our vendors got an email full of links and comments for his wife about their new baby. Ah, well he has a delete button, and he said it would be of interest...
But I digress. So there was an event in New Zealand, where Joanne is from, and she moved here and decided to organize a similar event. She's already planning next year - bigger, whole Northwest? There's someone in Houston who wants to do one... I say the more the merrier, and the Midwest needs some lactivism pretty big, I hear.
Local mamas, check out the website and bring your babies to the Big Latch On this Friday! Who knows if Kiddo will latch on in the middle of the morning at 18 months old, but just being an example of a mama still nursing at 18 months is exciting.
There are lots of other reasons that Portland is Boobjuicetown but I am soooooo tired. Bedtime for this mama.
Keep Boobjuicing and take good care!
Much love,
Suzi
Portland has many nicknames. Stumptown is my favorite because it's cute somehow. If I liked beer, beervana would be a top hit. But I would like to humbly suggest an addition. Boobjuicetown! This is a great city for a nursing mama. I'm particularly excited at the moment because of the upcoming Big Latch On PDX. I got the day off at the gentle prompting of new boobjuicer and supermama G.A., and we will be (ahem) furthering the cause of education and empowerment of America's mamas and the welfare of their children. By hanging out in a chocolate shop. Heh. Is this a great town or is this a great town? Thought so.
I met the founder of Big Latch on PDX today, at the Babyfriendly Block Party, which was a nice event (free chat with a lactation consultant!) I gave her some cards for my blog and she said she would put them in the gift bags for the mamas! Yay! Only wish I had made more... ah well. And I met someone from Oregon Nursing Mothers' Counsel. Okay, so take a moment - there *is* an Oregon Nursing Mothers' Counsel. Awesome. Anyway, gave her a card too, and found out how to become a volunteer. Because that's what I need, another activity. But anyway, it's good to know in case I decide I need another outlet for my lactivism. Which I might - poor marketing guy from one of our vendors got an email full of links and comments for his wife about their new baby. Ah, well he has a delete button, and he said it would be of interest...
But I digress. So there was an event in New Zealand, where Joanne is from, and she moved here and decided to organize a similar event. She's already planning next year - bigger, whole Northwest? There's someone in Houston who wants to do one... I say the more the merrier, and the Midwest needs some lactivism pretty big, I hear.
Local mamas, check out the website and bring your babies to the Big Latch On this Friday! Who knows if Kiddo will latch on in the middle of the morning at 18 months old, but just being an example of a mama still nursing at 18 months is exciting.
There are lots of other reasons that Portland is Boobjuicetown but I am soooooo tired. Bedtime for this mama.
Keep Boobjuicing and take good care!
Much love,
Suzi
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Memories and Waxing Philosophic
Hello Dear Boobjuicers and Friends!
I was just looking over some old posts and remembering how hard it was to pump and have a 40+ hour per week office job. I'm grateful now that I stuck it out (having a month between jobs helped. even though I was frantically packing, moving, and unpacking) and in the rear view mirror objects appear easier than they felt.
A friend is struggling with the beginnings of nursing, getting a pain-free latch, fighting what might be yeast (gads I hope not but she probably wasn't the total yeast factory I was before motherhood), and the general anguish and feeling that this period will never end. Or maybe it's not even being able to look up towards the future and conceive of an end. It's hard to think of something helpful to say... while it's true that at some point this will be over, and at some further point she will wonder how that x weeks ever felt like x months, when a mama is in the throes of that difficulty these words are hard to hear at best, and seriously irksome at worst. Mamas, did anyone hit on a magic phrase that helped you during that tricky startup time?
So many people are so quick to offer bad and unwanted advice too. To some degree it's not their fault - our mothers' generation was taught that breastfeeding is antiquated and weird. Which is bullpoo. But then when these people turn around and spew that bad advice at the new moms, in a way we sort of can't blame them. I mean, I believe in free will, but what will have happened in between motherhood and grandmotherhood to inspire them to reprogram these ideas? For most of them, nothing. Disclaimers aside, though, it was so frustrating to be struggling with breastfeeding and despairing of every being comfortable, and getting advice like, "so quit and give him formula." Argh. It felt like, "No, you can't do it, of course, you fool, so give up." I'm sure it wasn't meant this way, but that's how it felt, nonetheless. I didn't have the emotional or physical energy to patiently explain why this suggestion was totally anathema to me. So I just sort of filtered who I would talk to about what. I would whine to my doula, or my other 100% boobjuice mom friends, or other folks I knew would not give me this advice. They didn't necessarily all have something helpful to say, but at least they didn't offer this unhelpful, if well intended, dismissal of my deep feelings about motherhood.
And when you think about it, this was totally ridiculous. Human babies have survived on breastmilk for millennia, and only in the past few decades has formula even been an option. The idea that some how in the past fifty years womankind has lost the ability to do what we were doing for the ten thousand years previously is really silly. Unfortunately we have lost a lot of wisdom in this time, at least in this country, but the basic biology really doesn't change that fast.
So of course we didn't spend 10,000 years pumping breastmilk at the office. We didn't spend that long removing infected appendices or using antibiotics either. We get to use our brains to help us do more to make life better, and pumping counts. I would have been miserable staying home with my kid all day, and I see that now that I'm not frantically pumping, commuting 45 minutes on the LA freeway, and working a job I needed to leave. I would have been miserable staying home with Kiddo a hundred years ago, too, it just would have been harder to do anything about it.
I'm not sure I have any useful takeaways for you here, ladies, but hopefully something was resonant or at least interesting for you.
Happy boobjuicing!
Love,
Suzi
I was just looking over some old posts and remembering how hard it was to pump and have a 40+ hour per week office job. I'm grateful now that I stuck it out (having a month between jobs helped. even though I was frantically packing, moving, and unpacking) and in the rear view mirror objects appear easier than they felt.
A friend is struggling with the beginnings of nursing, getting a pain-free latch, fighting what might be yeast (gads I hope not but she probably wasn't the total yeast factory I was before motherhood), and the general anguish and feeling that this period will never end. Or maybe it's not even being able to look up towards the future and conceive of an end. It's hard to think of something helpful to say... while it's true that at some point this will be over, and at some further point she will wonder how that x weeks ever felt like x months, when a mama is in the throes of that difficulty these words are hard to hear at best, and seriously irksome at worst. Mamas, did anyone hit on a magic phrase that helped you during that tricky startup time?
So many people are so quick to offer bad and unwanted advice too. To some degree it's not their fault - our mothers' generation was taught that breastfeeding is antiquated and weird. Which is bullpoo. But then when these people turn around and spew that bad advice at the new moms, in a way we sort of can't blame them. I mean, I believe in free will, but what will have happened in between motherhood and grandmotherhood to inspire them to reprogram these ideas? For most of them, nothing. Disclaimers aside, though, it was so frustrating to be struggling with breastfeeding and despairing of every being comfortable, and getting advice like, "so quit and give him formula." Argh. It felt like, "No, you can't do it, of course, you fool, so give up." I'm sure it wasn't meant this way, but that's how it felt, nonetheless. I didn't have the emotional or physical energy to patiently explain why this suggestion was totally anathema to me. So I just sort of filtered who I would talk to about what. I would whine to my doula, or my other 100% boobjuice mom friends, or other folks I knew would not give me this advice. They didn't necessarily all have something helpful to say, but at least they didn't offer this unhelpful, if well intended, dismissal of my deep feelings about motherhood.
And when you think about it, this was totally ridiculous. Human babies have survived on breastmilk for millennia, and only in the past few decades has formula even been an option. The idea that some how in the past fifty years womankind has lost the ability to do what we were doing for the ten thousand years previously is really silly. Unfortunately we have lost a lot of wisdom in this time, at least in this country, but the basic biology really doesn't change that fast.
So of course we didn't spend 10,000 years pumping breastmilk at the office. We didn't spend that long removing infected appendices or using antibiotics either. We get to use our brains to help us do more to make life better, and pumping counts. I would have been miserable staying home with my kid all day, and I see that now that I'm not frantically pumping, commuting 45 minutes on the LA freeway, and working a job I needed to leave. I would have been miserable staying home with Kiddo a hundred years ago, too, it just would have been harder to do anything about it.
I'm not sure I have any useful takeaways for you here, ladies, but hopefully something was resonant or at least interesting for you.
Happy boobjuicing!
Love,
Suzi
Monday, July 12, 2010
You Get What You Ask For!
So, Kiddo has taken to pulling on the front of my shirt or top, peering down inside, and saying, "Boooo!" I think this is adorable, but I realize it could come back to haunt me if he starts wondering if other women also have Boo. I also realize this is my own stinking fault, as I have been running around saying "Boobs" and "Boobjuice" since he was born.
There seems to be a leit motif (or however you spell that) of "my own stinking fault" at the moment, or to frame it a bit more positively, "You get what you ask for." The Whirlwind Midwestern Tour, for example, was a success, I think. All my meetings went by without a hitch but one, and that's because I naively scheduled a downtown Chicago meeting for one hour after my flight was to land. Hee hee! Thank God there were thunderstorms so the flight was delayed, so I couldn't even try to make that happen. Sometimes weather is a mercy. We all picked up a nice, snotty head cold in Minnesota, which manifested in Chicago. Kiddo got it first, and was inconsolable in the middle of the night until I nursed him. We realized later, after we both came down with the same thing, that he probably had a sore throat. Poor little guy! And yay for Boo.
But back to the leit motif: I arranged for Hubby and Kiddo to drive down to the grandparents' place Indy after Kiddo's bedtime on Thursday night, and I would join them Friday after my conference ended at bedtime. I was actually really excited to have a hotel room to myself and a four hour drive (and don't let those whiners tell you different, it's a pretty drive - rolling prairie and old fashioned barns and farmhouses, but a reasonable smattering of roadside Starbucks) on which I got to relax, listen to the radio, and be pensive about corn.
So of course I bawled my eyes out.
I cried before they left. I cried when they left. I pulled it together to walk through the hotel lobby not crying so the affordable housing conference people didn't feel awkward, and then I cried in my room. Then I calmed down, started getting ready to enjoy a bath, went to get something (don't remember what) out of my backpack, found Kiddo's pretty wood rattle in there.... Yup! More crying. I should have called a girlfriend but I was being stubborn and trying to get over it. I know the first night away from my kiddo is a big deal, but I still felt silly. Ah, well. Let this post give some other mama permission not to feel silly! But the trip was my suggestion, and I wanted to do it, and I got what I asked for. Hubby said that Kiddo and Grandpa spent all day Friday just playing while Hubby re-did the Grandparents' sound system (useful as well as ornamental, my fella), and that they both had a great time. This is the best consolation for crying for half an hour as I could possibly think of, and really cheap therapy if you think about it. Plus we earned major karma points for bringing the Kiddo to the Grandpa, as Grandpa has resumed chemo for colon cancer which is now in his liver. Have I mentioned that colon cancer sucks? I believe I have, but it bears repeating. In fact, I'll go ahead and assert that cancer generally is not much fun. Please take care of yourselves and each other and appreciate the time we have while we have it. I know, just a modest request...
Pumping related paragraph: I brought Bessie Jr. so the girls wouldn't miss that morning session on Friday. FAIL. I never had much luck with Bessie Jr., and now that we're down to twice a day, it just wasn't going to happen. Perhaps Bessie would have worked, but anyway my instinct was that one missed morning nursing was not going to be The End of the Boo, and I was right. The girls did just fine that night, and since, and it was good for me to see that.
Mama DBG recently quoted her own dear mama as saying "closed mouth don't get fed." This strikes me as pure genius. I'm working on asking for what I want. Today I asked for time to work out between breadwinning and dinner, and Hubby was very accommodating. It took more convincing to get me to do it, to help me remember that spending 35 minutes on myself while Kiddo was awake does not mean I am a bad, selfish mama. (Sound familiar anyone?) In fact, as Hubby pointed out, I will be a better mama if I take care of myself.
So I'm working on asking for what I want, because I won't get it if I don't ask for it!
I have a zillion more things to talk about but it's late, this post is long and rambling, and I have miles to go before I sleep... or at least I need to brush my teeth for stink's sake.
Happy boobjuicing!
Love,
Suzi
There seems to be a leit motif (or however you spell that) of "my own stinking fault" at the moment, or to frame it a bit more positively, "You get what you ask for." The Whirlwind Midwestern Tour, for example, was a success, I think. All my meetings went by without a hitch but one, and that's because I naively scheduled a downtown Chicago meeting for one hour after my flight was to land. Hee hee! Thank God there were thunderstorms so the flight was delayed, so I couldn't even try to make that happen. Sometimes weather is a mercy. We all picked up a nice, snotty head cold in Minnesota, which manifested in Chicago. Kiddo got it first, and was inconsolable in the middle of the night until I nursed him. We realized later, after we both came down with the same thing, that he probably had a sore throat. Poor little guy! And yay for Boo.
But back to the leit motif: I arranged for Hubby and Kiddo to drive down to the grandparents' place Indy after Kiddo's bedtime on Thursday night, and I would join them Friday after my conference ended at bedtime. I was actually really excited to have a hotel room to myself and a four hour drive (and don't let those whiners tell you different, it's a pretty drive - rolling prairie and old fashioned barns and farmhouses, but a reasonable smattering of roadside Starbucks) on which I got to relax, listen to the radio, and be pensive about corn.
So of course I bawled my eyes out.
I cried before they left. I cried when they left. I pulled it together to walk through the hotel lobby not crying so the affordable housing conference people didn't feel awkward, and then I cried in my room. Then I calmed down, started getting ready to enjoy a bath, went to get something (don't remember what) out of my backpack, found Kiddo's pretty wood rattle in there.... Yup! More crying. I should have called a girlfriend but I was being stubborn and trying to get over it. I know the first night away from my kiddo is a big deal, but I still felt silly. Ah, well. Let this post give some other mama permission not to feel silly! But the trip was my suggestion, and I wanted to do it, and I got what I asked for. Hubby said that Kiddo and Grandpa spent all day Friday just playing while Hubby re-did the Grandparents' sound system (useful as well as ornamental, my fella), and that they both had a great time. This is the best consolation for crying for half an hour as I could possibly think of, and really cheap therapy if you think about it. Plus we earned major karma points for bringing the Kiddo to the Grandpa, as Grandpa has resumed chemo for colon cancer which is now in his liver. Have I mentioned that colon cancer sucks? I believe I have, but it bears repeating. In fact, I'll go ahead and assert that cancer generally is not much fun. Please take care of yourselves and each other and appreciate the time we have while we have it. I know, just a modest request...
Pumping related paragraph: I brought Bessie Jr. so the girls wouldn't miss that morning session on Friday. FAIL. I never had much luck with Bessie Jr., and now that we're down to twice a day, it just wasn't going to happen. Perhaps Bessie would have worked, but anyway my instinct was that one missed morning nursing was not going to be The End of the Boo, and I was right. The girls did just fine that night, and since, and it was good for me to see that.
Mama DBG recently quoted her own dear mama as saying "closed mouth don't get fed." This strikes me as pure genius. I'm working on asking for what I want. Today I asked for time to work out between breadwinning and dinner, and Hubby was very accommodating. It took more convincing to get me to do it, to help me remember that spending 35 minutes on myself while Kiddo was awake does not mean I am a bad, selfish mama. (Sound familiar anyone?) In fact, as Hubby pointed out, I will be a better mama if I take care of myself.
So I'm working on asking for what I want, because I won't get it if I don't ask for it!
I have a zillion more things to talk about but it's late, this post is long and rambling, and I have miles to go before I sleep... or at least I need to brush my teeth for stink's sake.
Happy boobjuicing!
Love,
Suzi
Monday, June 7, 2010
Jet Set Boobjuicing
So, I should totally be in bed right now, by the way, but I can't fall asleep lately. Which seems terribly ironic.
Anyway, I flew to Minnesota for a volunteer event for my college a couple weeks ago, and because I am scared to not nurse for two days, brought Kiddo with me. And bought him a ticket, because I'm too chicken (and it sounds just too chaotic) to have him be a lap kid. So this boobjuicing thing has become a serious resource hog. Well, the way I'm doing it, anyway. So I arranged to have the BEST FRIENDS EVER, G and H, take care of Kiddo, and of course they did and AWESOME job and he loved them. He already knew G (male) but hadn't met H (female) and luuuuuved her too. It was great because the college put me up in the building where the meetings were being held, so I could sneak off at break times and nurse him or just check in and say hi.
So then, I had work business meetings (as opposed to volunteer business meetings, I'm not just being redundant) on Monday, which I gleefully offered to add on to this trip to make it more efficient (fewer plane rides better in my book). So Sunday night, I stayed with R and E and their three ADORABLE kids, S1 (female, 9), S2 (male, 6) and G (male, 2). Good gravy. Three kids, two of whom are boys and apparently aspiring wrestlers, in an adorable home which is perhaps just a tad small for the size to which their beautiful family has grown, was a RIOT. These kids are crazy smart, too, unsurprisingly knowing their parents. But the best part was that E, who is a stay-at-home dad like my hubby, was soooo patient when kiddo freaked out during the second business meeting and basically spent two hours crying and climbing in and out of his car seat. Plus there was this adorable text string during my first meeting - I got them both on a break after the first hour of the meeting:
"Does R get a whole cookie, Earth's Best Teether?"
(two minutes pass)
"Well, he seems to think so. Sorry for the interruption."
Hee hee! I can just imagine how that exchange went! "Wo, buddy, what do you think you're doing with this half a cookie business?"
I am super grateful for my awesome friends all around the country.
Coming up next will be an interesting whirlwind tour of the Midwest. We start off with my 15 year reunion - so no boobjuicing trouble there, as can just keep kiddo near by. So since we all three would already be on a plane to the Midwest, of course I'll stick more business meetings on to that, so that I can make Hubby do kidcare in remote cities without having to talk him into an "extra" ticket. So business meetings in MSP on Monday after reunion. Tuesday fly to Chicago and hopefully make it to an afternoon meeting same day (have warned the meetee of travel plans and given flight number so they can give up and go home if we're thunderstormed in or something). Wednesday morning more meetings, then a conference Wednesday afternoon through Friday midday. Now, Chicago being just a quick jaunt from MSP on a plane, and hubby and kiddo already being on the road with me, of course they should just come along!
I'm getting all sorts of sales pitch invitations for dinners and breakfasts and cocktail hours at this conference. It's not me, it's my company that is that popular - most of these folks would only know me from Eve by checking for a belly button. I've been toying with giving up the morning nursing, but we haven't yet and I don't have any idea what time zone kiddo's appetite will be in, so I'm giving these tentative yesses to the bfasts and cocktail hours, declining all dinners (these are nice restaurants I'm turning down people!) and figuring I can sneak in and out of cocktail hours relatively unobtrusively. My awesome boss is being very understanding about the whole thing - yay!
Originally we were planning for hubby's parents to drive up from Indy and keep him and kiddo company, drag them to museums, etc. But, unfortunately, hubby's dad will be starting chemo again, so NOW the plan is that Thursday after kiddo's bedtime, Matt drives down to Indy in a one-way rental. Friday the conference ends at noon, and I pick up a one-way rental and also drive down to Indy. So we will miss the morning nursing that day, and I'll bring Bessie Jr. (a Medela hand pump) along in case I get uncomfortable or just scared. We stay until Saturday evening and then fly back to Portland. It's a quick visit but way better than none and I really think Grandpa will appreciate it. And he's the only grandpa kiddo has left, since we lost my father in 2002 to colon cancer. Which is what hubby's dad is now fighting. Cancer sucks, people. Get your colonoscopies as directed by your doctors or so help me I will hold you down and MAKE you drink that nasty laxative myself. It's WAY better than cancer, guarantee it.
Be well, take care of each other, and happy boobjuicing!
Love,
Suzi
Anyway, I flew to Minnesota for a volunteer event for my college a couple weeks ago, and because I am scared to not nurse for two days, brought Kiddo with me. And bought him a ticket, because I'm too chicken (and it sounds just too chaotic) to have him be a lap kid. So this boobjuicing thing has become a serious resource hog. Well, the way I'm doing it, anyway. So I arranged to have the BEST FRIENDS EVER, G and H, take care of Kiddo, and of course they did and AWESOME job and he loved them. He already knew G (male) but hadn't met H (female) and luuuuuved her too. It was great because the college put me up in the building where the meetings were being held, so I could sneak off at break times and nurse him or just check in and say hi.
So then, I had work business meetings (as opposed to volunteer business meetings, I'm not just being redundant) on Monday, which I gleefully offered to add on to this trip to make it more efficient (fewer plane rides better in my book). So Sunday night, I stayed with R and E and their three ADORABLE kids, S1 (female, 9), S2 (male, 6) and G (male, 2). Good gravy. Three kids, two of whom are boys and apparently aspiring wrestlers, in an adorable home which is perhaps just a tad small for the size to which their beautiful family has grown, was a RIOT. These kids are crazy smart, too, unsurprisingly knowing their parents. But the best part was that E, who is a stay-at-home dad like my hubby, was soooo patient when kiddo freaked out during the second business meeting and basically spent two hours crying and climbing in and out of his car seat. Plus there was this adorable text string during my first meeting - I got them both on a break after the first hour of the meeting:
"Does R get a whole cookie, Earth's Best Teether?"
(two minutes pass)
"Well, he seems to think so. Sorry for the interruption."
Hee hee! I can just imagine how that exchange went! "Wo, buddy, what do you think you're doing with this half a cookie business?"
I am super grateful for my awesome friends all around the country.
Coming up next will be an interesting whirlwind tour of the Midwest. We start off with my 15 year reunion - so no boobjuicing trouble there, as can just keep kiddo near by. So since we all three would already be on a plane to the Midwest, of course I'll stick more business meetings on to that, so that I can make Hubby do kidcare in remote cities without having to talk him into an "extra" ticket. So business meetings in MSP on Monday after reunion. Tuesday fly to Chicago and hopefully make it to an afternoon meeting same day (have warned the meetee of travel plans and given flight number so they can give up and go home if we're thunderstormed in or something). Wednesday morning more meetings, then a conference Wednesday afternoon through Friday midday. Now, Chicago being just a quick jaunt from MSP on a plane, and hubby and kiddo already being on the road with me, of course they should just come along!
I'm getting all sorts of sales pitch invitations for dinners and breakfasts and cocktail hours at this conference. It's not me, it's my company that is that popular - most of these folks would only know me from Eve by checking for a belly button. I've been toying with giving up the morning nursing, but we haven't yet and I don't have any idea what time zone kiddo's appetite will be in, so I'm giving these tentative yesses to the bfasts and cocktail hours, declining all dinners (these are nice restaurants I'm turning down people!) and figuring I can sneak in and out of cocktail hours relatively unobtrusively. My awesome boss is being very understanding about the whole thing - yay!
Originally we were planning for hubby's parents to drive up from Indy and keep him and kiddo company, drag them to museums, etc. But, unfortunately, hubby's dad will be starting chemo again, so NOW the plan is that Thursday after kiddo's bedtime, Matt drives down to Indy in a one-way rental. Friday the conference ends at noon, and I pick up a one-way rental and also drive down to Indy. So we will miss the morning nursing that day, and I'll bring Bessie Jr. (a Medela hand pump) along in case I get uncomfortable or just scared. We stay until Saturday evening and then fly back to Portland. It's a quick visit but way better than none and I really think Grandpa will appreciate it. And he's the only grandpa kiddo has left, since we lost my father in 2002 to colon cancer. Which is what hubby's dad is now fighting. Cancer sucks, people. Get your colonoscopies as directed by your doctors or so help me I will hold you down and MAKE you drink that nasty laxative myself. It's WAY better than cancer, guarantee it.
Be well, take care of each other, and happy boobjuicing!
Love,
Suzi
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